A personal loss can mean the death of a loved one, pet, or close friend. It can also be a divorce, losing a job, a financial blow, moving away, or even the loss of a dream, among others. In my case, I lost my 25 year-old son to a brain aneurysm in April. Because of the pandemic, we couldn’t have a funeral, so two weeks after his death, I received his ashes in the mail.

 Throughout it all, there were moments I thought I would quit writing altogether, but I discovered some ways that helped me preserve my writer identity. So, whether you’ve also experienced a personal loss or feel like you’ve been in a relentless standstill due to everything else, what I’ve learned while trying to write during my own crisis may help you, too.

Give yourself permission to take a break from writing.

Some of us have such a strong work ethic that the mere thought of taking a break from writing causes anxiety. When my son passed, my first instinct was to keep writing because — despite my grief — I was afraid if I stopped, I’d never finish my WIP. However, after a day or two of sitting at my laptop and struggling to write, I decided it was healthier for me to take a break. I meditated, prayed, and talked to the people I’m closest to; I let myself be still and feel. And if I felt an inkling of guilt over not writing my novel during this time, I promptly squashed it.

Use your writing skills in a different way.

We have a unique skill set that lets us drill down to the core emotion underlying a set of circumstances. We can render truth out of conjecture, and we can make meaning where there seemingly is none. So in the midst of a crisis, we can hold on to our writer identity by doing things differently. One way is by focusing on writing smaller pieces like blog posts, personal essays, and poetry. Another way is to use journaling prompts to process emotions. If you google journaling prompts, you will find dozens of lists you can use. However, if journaling is too intense, you could also do a brain dump, which is simply a list of thoughts and feelings you pull out of your mind and put on paper. After my son died, it was difficult for me to journal, so I did a brain dump instead. While I had few epiphanies, I felt a little lighter each time I wrote a list.

Set a date to re-evaluate and return to your WIP.

When my son passed, I was halfway through a writing master class, and while I was determined to finish my manuscript, I knew I needed a break. However, I also knew I didn’t want to put my WIP on hold indefinitely, so I set a date to check in with myself and take my writing temperature. If I wasn’t yet ready, I set a new date to re-evaluate. In my case, these dates weren’t far apart; after the first week of shock, I checked in every 3-5 days until I decided it was time to get back in the chair. At that point, I set a new date, which was the day I went back to writing.

Of course, some people may prefer to have their check-in dates spaced further apart, but in my case, I wanted to get back to my WIP more quickly because I knew my son wouldn’t have wanted his death to stop me from  fulfilling a lifelong dream. Everytime we talked on the phone, he asked me about my novel and how close I was to finishing it. He was invested in it almost as much as I was, and in the end, I used that to help motivate me to start writing again.

Adjust your expectations.

When we start doing an activity again after some time off, we need to transition back into it; we know we can’t resume the activity at the same level before we quit. Thus, when I started writing again, I adjusted my expectations. I didn’t expect to immediately produce the same average word count or daily writing time pre-crisis, so I cut those numbers in half. For example, prior to April, I was averaging 1,500-1,800 words in about 90 minutes of writing per day. When I got back to writing, I lowered my goal to around 750-1,000 words a day, however long that took me. In the beginning, I only managed around 500 words some days, and I wasn’t able to concentrate for more than an hour or so. In addition, I went from writing 6 days per week pre-crisis to only 4 or 5 days per week. In my case, I was back to my normal speed and frequency within three weeks, but everyone’s pace will be different.

Be prepared for “aftershocks” and the possibility of another break.

Sometimes when we get over the initial shock of a crisis and we think we’ve put it behind us, it can sneak back up on us. I call these aftershocks, and sometimes they come in smaller waves or they hit us hard and pack a wallop. The latter is exactly what happened to me. My son died in April, and I was back to writing at my normal pace within a few weeks. I spent the summer revising my manuscript and working on my author platform, which kept me busy. I thought I was doing quite well, but then, at the end of September, an overwhelming wave of grief knocked me down. Hard. I’m still struggling to get back to my WIP, but I’ve been employing the steps above and this past week I’ve decided I’ll resume writing within the next two weeks. I’ve set a date and I’ll write something, even if it isn’t a lot. I’ve committed to accepting whatever comes and being grateful for it.

While I never would have imagined that anything could make me go several months without writing, I’m giving myself some grace while working the steps that were helpful for me in the first go around, knowing that in the future, I may have to work them again.

And again.

Anita Ramirez is a writer and teacher who transforms bilingual, dispassionate teens into lovers of books, one reader at a time. When she’s not teaching Hispanic/Latinx literature and composition to her high school students or linguistics at the college level, she’s revising her first bilingual YA novel and attempting to win NaNoWriMo while writing her second. Anita is a California native who’s been living in New York for the past 25 years. She loves the poetry of Pablo Neruda, teen movies from the 1980s and café con leche. You can find her at www.anitawritesbooks.com and connect with her on Twitter and Instagram.

The post #5onFri: Five Ways to Keep Writing Through a Crisis appeared first on DIY MFA.

I hope you are doing alright through all this, and I write this with the understanding that not all of you will be. My heart goes out to you. 

Regardless of the depth of your individual challenges right now, it can be easy to feel that writing stories—and sharing them with the world—is less important in the midst of all this. So before we get into today’s post, I want to say that this isn’t the case. 

Stories still matter. 

In fact, I believe it’s times like this that stories are most important. And not just because we’re stuck at home and bored. Stories give us the empathy muscles that we so badly need in these times to care for each other.

So with that in mind, let’s talk about ways we can connect with readers as social distancing continues, and well beyond. Because all of these digitally-driven concepts were already options long before it was our only way to connect with the world beyond our home. And rest assured, what’s happening right now is going to continue to shape how we interact long after social distancing is over. We’re building new habits and new possibilities right now. We’re building new skills. 

And our readers are changing, too. 

With that in mind, here are 10 ways to connect with readers virtually: 

1. Kickstart your YouTube channel
2. Launch your podcast
3. Hold an AMA
4. Go live on video via your favorite social media channel
5. Organize a panel discussion
6. Hold a reading or join an open mic 
7. Launch (or re-launch) your blog
8. Guest post for a website you admire
9. Run social media ads
10. Offer a freebie or sneak peek

It’s a Great Time to Try Something New

Have you noticed lately that, as we all adapt to a new normal that’s not normal at all, how open and forgiving everyone has become? Just look to these news anchors rolling with the punches. We’re all just trying to adapt the best we can here, and it’s got most people in a supportive mood.

If you’ve been curious about testing Instagram live or nervously tempted to share your work for the first time, I can’t imagine a better time to make the leap. You’re bound to connect, and perhaps even inspire. 

I challenge you to give it a try! And remember, as you do it, how much creativity means for the world. 

By day, E. J. Wenstrom is a digital strategy pro with over 10 years at communications firms. By early-early morning, she’s an award-winning sci-fi and fantasy author of the Chronicles of the Third Realm War novels, starting with Mud. She believes in complicated characters, terrifying monsters, and purple hair dye.

The post Ten Ways to Connect with Readers while Socially Distancing appeared first on DIY MFA.