Instead, I’m going to assure you right here, now that we’re deeper into this article, that the tip I’m about to share may propel your writing forward by light years. No, seriously. I discovered this technique a few years ago, and I’m still kind of shocked at how easy it is to use and how it makes my writing so much stronger.

But before we dive in, try to read the following without falling asleep (or scrolling to another DIY MFA article out of sheer boredom):

Sam heard a faint tapping at the window as he was grading essays. He watched the red pen in his hand stop. He couldn’t believe the heavy rain had already started. He realized he had been working for three solid hours. He had watched the morning news earlier in the day that said the storms wouldn’t come in until late afternoon.

With a sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose to stop the ache he felt behind his eyes. He decided to get another cup of coffee from the kitchen.

He looked around the small three-foot-by-three-foot space and realized all the coffee cups he owned were in the porcelain kitchen sink. It seemed he’d have to wash one. That was when he noticed the small footprints on the counter where he’d spilled flour the night before.

He wondered if the tiny people were back.

Poor Sam. He lives a lonely life–that’s for sure. Or maybe his partner has been away for a week visiting family and Sam will have to rush to clean up right before they get home, all while fretting about the return of the tiny people. I dunno. Sam would have to tell you that.

But all joking aside, there’s something very off about the way the passage is written. Besides being heavy on telling versus showing, the writing removes the reader from what’s happening on the page. Don’t get me wrong–sometimes it’s good to be stuck in a character’s head, like when you’re diving into deep POV, but not everything should be seen through the eyes of a character.

Now look at the same passage rewritten:

A faint tapping at the window broke Sam’s concentration. He stilled, the red pen in his hand finally coming to rest. Was the heavy rain already starting? Surely it was too early—the morning news had said the thunderstorms wouldn’t sweep over the city until late afternoon.

The time on his watch confirmed he’d been grading essays for three solid hours. With a sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose to stop the ache behind his eyes. Another cup of coffee might help.

The cramped three-foot-by-three-foot kitchen was just large enough to make lonely meals for one. Under the harsh glare of a naked lightbulb, flies buzzed around dirty dishes languishing in the chipped porcelain sink. Resigned to washing a mug, Sam began to squeeze dish soap into the sink when he froze. Small footprints dotted the counter where he’d spilled flour the night before. His heart racing, Sam bit his fist to stop the scream lodged in his throat.

The tiny people were back.

Doesn’t this feel more immediate? Each sentence propels you to the next. That certainly doesn’t happen in the first (boring) passage. And what a lack of sentence variation in the first passage; almost every sentence starts with the same structure: Subject + Verb. It’s a total snoozefest.

So, how did I rewrite the passage to make it sparkle? I got rid of the bolded filter words and rewrote those sentences using tighter language. By choosing better verbs and more precise wording, the sentences practically rewrote themselves.

What is a filter word?

Certain words (usually verbs) increase narrative distance and make the reader feel detached from the story. Typically, these words filter the reader’s experience through the characters and can be found near the beginning of sentences.

Here’s a handy list of common filter words:

• Believed
• Can/Could
• Decided
• Experienced
• Felt
• Heard
• Knew
• Looked
• Noticed
• Realized
• Saw
• Seemed
• Sounded
• Thought
• Watched
• Wondered

Too many of these filter words lead to readers yawning and DNFing a book. Though using them isn’t the end of the world (kind of like adverbs), a few filter words go a long way. Save them for when your characters truly watch or hear or [insert filter word] something.

Of course, as you’re writing your first draft, don’t stress too hard about filter words. Just get the story on paper. Much later, once you are at the line-level editing stage, highlight all these nuggets of potential awesomeness to pinpoint where to level up your writing.

How to target filter words in a manuscript

In Word, follow the directions here to find and highlight each filter word. It’s some work but worth the effort, I promise!

Scrivener makes it easy to highlight multiple words at once. Go to Edit > Find > Project Search. In the search bar, paste the following (change to present tense if applicable):

(Believed|Can|Could|Decided|Experienced|Felt|Heard|Knew|Looked|Noticed|Realized|Saw|Seemed|Sounded|Thought|Watched|Wondered)

Then click on the magnifying glass icon in the search bar and choose Search In: All and Operator: RegEx from the drop-down menu. Boom! They’re all highlighted for you.

And there you have it. This one simple trick has the potential to launch your writing forward and to give you some easy wins while editing… more so than, say, wearing your clothes inside out.

Are there other words or expressions you’ve found that increase narrative distance or bog readers down? Sound off in the comments!

JJ Graham writes spooky romance. Strong character representation of everyone, including queer and neurodivergent characters are important to him because everybody deserves to see themselves in romance stories.
You can find him on his website and follow him on Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok.

The post An Easy Technique to Make Your Writing Sparkle appeared first on DIY MFA.

Have you gotten the DIY MFA Starter Kit yet? This is a two week email series full of worksheets to help you DIY your MFA. You’ll learn more about how to write with focus, read with purpose, and build your community. You’ll also start getting Writer Fuel, our newsletter full of words of wisdom and resources to help you keep the momentum going in your writing. And you’ll be the first to hear about other fun goodies we only share via email. Best of all, it’s free to join! You can sign up with your email at diymfa.com/join.

In this episode Kathy Reichs and I discuss:

• How to write each book in a series with different aspects while keeping it entertaining. 
• Keeping the main character consistent but also allowing room for them to grow and change throughout a series. 
• Adapting a series to television, the differences and challenges of writing a television script vs. a novel. 

Plus, Kathy’s #1 tip for writers.

About Kathy Reichs

Kathy Reichs’ first novel Déjà Dead, published in 1997, won the Ellis Award for Best First Novel and was an international bestseller. To date, she has written twenty-two novels featuring forensic anthropologist Temperance Brennan. Kathy was also a producer of Fox Television’s longest running scripted drama, Bones, which was based on her work and her novels. One of very few forensic anthropologists certified by the American Board of Forensic Anthropology, Kathy divides her time between Charlotte, North Carolina, and Montreal, Québec.

You can find her on her website or follow her on Twitter and Instagram.

The Bone Hacker

#1 New York Times bestselling author Kathy Reichs returns with her twenty-second high-stakes thriller featuring forensic anthropologist Temperance Brennan who, following a series of bizarre disappearances on the islands of Turks and Caicos, enters a sinister labyrinth in which a new technology may wreak worldwide havoc.

Called in to examine what is left of a person thought to have been struck by lightning, Tempe traces an unusual tattoo to its source and is soon embroiled in a much larger case. Young men—tourists—have been disappearing on the islands of Turks and Caicos. Seven years earlier, the first victim was found in a strange location with his left hand hacked off; subsequently, two other visitors vanished without a trace. But, recently, tantalizing leads have emerged and only Tempe can unravel them.

Maddeningly, the victims seem to have nothing in common—other than the odd places where their bodies turn up, and the fact that none seems likely to have been involved in criminal activity. Do these attacks have something to do with the islands’ seething culture of gang violence? Tempe isn’t so sure. Disturbingly, she discovers evidence that what’s at stake may actually have global significance.

It isn’t long before the sound of a ticking clock grows menacingly loud. Then Tempe herself becomes a target.

If you decide to check out the book, we hope you’ll do so via this Amazon affiliate link where, if you choose to purchase via the link, DIY MFA gets a referral fee at no cost to you. As always, thank you for supporting DIY MFA!

Link to Episode 471

(Right-click to download.)

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Until next week, keep writing and keep being awesome!

The post Episode 471: A Behind the Scenes Look at How to Craft a Bestselling Thriller Series – Interview with Kathy Reichs appeared first on DIY MFA.