But what can screenwriting teach fiction writers about dialogue? Aren’t scripts and novels…like Hemingway’s iceberg theory insinuates…completely different? In some ways yes, but that doesn’t mean we fiction writers can’t learn a thing or two from a film that thrives on conversation as much – perhaps arguably more than — action and events.

Objective

Analyze the old diner scene from Little Miss Sunshine to study engaging, important dialogue.

Resource

Little Miss Sunshine (screenplay by Rick Kerb)

Setting the Stage

I learned a lot of tips about writing scripts my sophomore year of college, but one lesson in particular always stood out. The professor opened the class with a clip from Little Miss Sunshine: The diner scene.

Little Miss Sunshine is a story about a dysfunctional family in their attempt to overcome numerous setbacks on an 800-mile road trip to the finals of the “Little Miss Sunshine” beauty pageant. In one scene, the family stops for breakfast and Sheryl, the mother, says each person can spend up to four dollars.

The characters respond with various different choices. But first, let’s get to know who each character is before analyzing the conversation that unfolds after they order.

The Characters

• Olive – The young daughter in the family. She is an innocent, slightly plump seven-year-old obsessed with Miss America. Although, she is part of an ensemble, Olive never actively opposes another character. She is, in essence, the one character everyone in the family loves.
• Richard – The father. He is a failed motivational speaker obsessed with perfection. He often fears that his family will end up losers, and all of his actions and behaviors tend to thrive on this fear.
• Dwayne – the son and elder sibling in the family. He is an intelligent but troubled teen who has taken a Nietzschean vow of silence until he becomes an air pilot.
• Grandpa – A foul-mouthed drug addict and Olive’s pageant coach. He lives with the family after getting evicted from his nursing home for snorting…but despite his addiction, he loves his granddaughter and wants only the best for his family.
• Sheryl – The mother. She is an overworked and resentful wife, worried sister, and a loving mother who depends on cigarettes to quiet her nerves.
• Frank – Sheryl’s brother. Frank moves in with the family after he tries to commit suicide. He is a homosexual Proust scholar who feels empty and lost after his ex-lover moves on to be with another man and his nemesis is awarded something he believes he deserves.

So there you have it, a cast full of opposition. Which brings me back to the conversation we will study today…the old diner scene when Olive orders ice cream and waffles for breakfast.

INT. OLD DINER – MORNING

RICHARD
Olive, can I tell you something about ice cream?

(she nods)

Ice cream is made from cream, which comes from cow’s milk. And cream has a lot of fat in it…

SHERYL
Richard…

RICHARD
What? She’s gonna find out anyway. Right?

OLIVE
Find out what?

RICHARD
Well, when you eat ice cream, the fat in the ice cream becomes fat on your body…

SHERYL
Richard, I swear to God…!

OLIVE
What? What’s wrong?

SHERYL
Nothing, honey. Nothing’s wrong.

RICHARD
So, if you eat a lot of ice cream you’re gonna become big and fat. But if you don’t you’ll probably stay nice and skinny.

Sheryl puts her head in her hands.

GRANDPA
Olive, Richard’s an idiot. I like a woman with meat on her bone.

Olive is confused.

OLIVE
I don’t…Mom! Why is everyone upset?

SHERYL
I’m not upset, honey. I just want you to understand: It’s okay to be skinny, and it’s okay to be fat, if that’s how you want to be. Whatever you want – it’s okay.

Richard rolls his eyes.

A Quick Side Note

So what can we learn from this scene? Richard convinces Olive not to eat her ice cream after proposing a question about the weight of Miss America winners. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you’re pretty furious with Richard, right? I mean, who tells a seven-year-old to watch her weight? Let her eat the darn ice cream!

But remember, Richard’s character is obsessed with perfection and fears any any member in his family becoming a loser.

Does this mean he thinks Olive is a loser? No, just that he loves her and wants to protect her from failing at her dream. But what does failure mean anyway? Being overweight? Losing in her pageants? Can we even define failure? The answer is something viewers will need to watch the film to find out.

Back to the Scene – After the meals are delivered

OLIVE
Does anyone want my ice cream?

Sheryl just closes her eyes. Grandpa jumps in.

GRANDPA
Yeah, I’ll have a bite. You mind? Dwayne? Frank? Olive’s giving away her ice cream here.

Dwayne and Frank quickly snap to.

FRANK
Mind if I have a little?

Olive shakes her head. Frank and Swayne dig in. Even Sheryl gets in on the act. Richard is not amused.

GRANDPA
(loudly)
Boy, this is good ice cream! I feel sorry for the people at the table who aren’t enjoying delicious ice cream early in the morning.

OLIVE
Wait. Don’t take it all! Stop!

Olive picks up her spoon, fights them off. She takes a bite.

RICHARD
Olive…

SHERYL
Richard!

She glares at him, ferocious. Richard shuts up.

Five Elements of Strong Dialogue

There are five awesome things that this scene can teach us about dialogue. Let’s see how the dialogue develops throughout the scene, and how it shows these five strengths.

1) It is essential to the story

Dialogue should do one of three things: a) advance the plot, b) reveal something about the character, and c) reflect the theme. In this scene from Little Miss Sunshine we see all three elements at play, but none more so than how dialogue reveals character and character relationships.

Dialogue should be different for each character. In other words, each character should sound different. For instance, Sheryl is quick to argue with Richard about his criticism of Olive’s meal choice, but she must be cautious in how she speaks to Richard in front of Olive, who keeps asking “what’s wrong?”

Meanwhile, Grandpa – Richard’s father – is the only person to initially support Sheryl in her quarrel, but in a quite different, far more abrupt manner: “Richard’s an idiot.” We can guess from the differences in how these characters combat Richard that they tackle uncomfortable issues in quite different manners.

In novel writing, you might also use dialogue to advance the plot by clarifying something about background or. In other cases, you might use dialogue to illuminate a theme from conversations (think “To Kill a Mockingbird” and Atticus’s comment about walking in someone else’s skin), so long as you’re not heavy handed about this.

2) It imparts information

When characters talk to one another, dialogue should impart information, but never in a way that sounds obvious.

So what are we learning in this scene? Well, that Richard is so obsessed with winners and losers that he manipulates Olive’s desire to eat ice cream out of fear it will lead to her becoming a loser. It also shows that the whole family clearly, does not agree with Richard’s comments.

This scene  imparts information from one character from another. It doesn’t explain the plot, but, rather, the flaws and dislikes of the characters. 

3) It has conflict or tension

Alfred Hitchcock had a famous axiom: “What is drama but life with the dull bits cut out.” All dialogue should contain tension and conflict. I think this one is self explanatory in the scene from Little Miss Sunshine, with every character except for Olive opposing Richard.

Ever read a scene without tension or conflict? It’s not very exiting, isn’t it? Tension and conflict in drama will avoid the number one sin for writers – don’t sound dull.

Of course, various scenes will contain different levels of tension and conflict. You just need to decide what scenes should elevate more tension than others.

4) It is compressed

What does compressed mean? Basically, don’t bloat your dialogue.

We’re not longer writing in the ninetieth century, so works like Dickens aren’t as wildly embraced by today’s readers. This does not suggest that authors like Dickens aren’t brilliant – of course they are! But writers today can’t drown readers in excessively heavy monologues. Instead, if you must write a speech, break it up.

5) It is rich on subtext

Much like in life, what is unsaid is often just as important as what is not said. The layers beneath the surface of lines consist of story, character, and theme. Look familiar? That’s right: once again we tap into the essentials of writing dialogue, and how words define these three elements in a conversation.

Look back at the scene from Little Miss Sunshine. Sheryl, furious at Richard, keeps her words short and direct (“Richard!”) in order to appease Olive’s worry that something “wrong” is happening. Meanwhile, Frank and Dwayne remain quiet in their disgust, but eagerly jump in to support Grandpa as he digs into that bowl of ice cream.

Final Thoughts

Dialogue is essential for creating a character, scene, and theme. Although there is no one-way-fits-all method, these five points can strengthen your dialogue. If you have a spare moment, study a movie or read a script. Movies are, after all, dominated by conversations – so studying script will only heighten your awareness!

How do you include tension in your dialogue? Do you have any tips on making characters sound unique? Are there any movies you absolutely love because of the clever conversations? What lines usually stand out? Use the #LetsTalkBooks in the comments below if you found this column interesting and would like to continue the conversation! 

Abigail K. Perry is a commercial fiction writer living in Massachusetts where she teaches creative writing and film production. She received her B.S. in TV, Radio, and Film from Syracuse University and her Master’s in Education from Endicott College, and has worked as a creative production intern in for Overbrook Entertainment and as a marketing and sales intern for Charlesbridge Publishing.

In addition to writing, Abigail plans to teach screenwriting at An Unlikely Story (the priceless local bookstore owned by Diary of a Wimpy Kid’s Jeff Kinney) in Plainville, MA. This class is in development and will launch soon!

Abigail is a member of the DIY MFA street team and a loyal follower of Writer’s Digest. You can read more about her work on this website or follow her on Twitter @A_K_Perry 

The post The Five Essential Elements of Strong Dialogue appeared first on DIY MFA.

But first, I’d like to discuss three simple ways minor characters make a story. Pay close attention, and you might learn the weak link in your novel – or an easy way to spice up some important scenes!

Let’s Talk Books

Author Donna Tartt noticed the art of minor characters in Charles Dickens, valuing his tradition, “where even the minor walk-on characters are twitching and particular and alive.” And although today’s readers don’t expect (necessarily) the estimated thirty-thousand characters (thirty-thousand!) Dickens developed, writers can strengthen plot by strategically and artistically placing minor characters in their scenes.

Now, I’m not suggesting you go off and write eight-hundred and fifty-two randoms in your story just to fill up space. Minor characters, as effective as they can be, should not play a major role in your book. What they should do, however, can be summed up with three major points:

1. Propel the plot forward.
2. Reveal information or give additional insight about major characters
3. Set the tone of a scene

How, you ask? To answer that let’s lean on an old classic, with a minor character who has been quoted throughout Christmas season for decades.

Objective:

Write a scene where a minor character either propels your plot forward, reveals information about a major character, and/or sets the tone of a scene.

Discussion Questions:

1. How does my minor character propel the plot?
2. What information or backstory does my minor character reveal about my protagonist? Is this information redundant? Could it be told in a stronger way? If not, how does my minor character reveal this information in a way no other scene could?
3. What behaviors, attitudes, and/or idiosyncrasies of my minor character set the tone of the scene?

Resources:

A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens

Minor characters should add spice to your novel, not dull it down. Well-conceived minor characters add an extra spark that distinguishes the best fiction from everything else.
-James Scott Bell

It’s true. Minor characters can make or break a story. Add minor characters with a purpose, and you can establish a protagonist or polish a memorable scene. Add too much detail about a minor character or drown your story with too many of them, and your novel might self-implode.

Charles Dickens in his classic A Christmas Carol understood this, and understood it well. How do I know? With proof, of course. Who could forget Tiny Tim?!

A Christmas Carol

“God bless us every one!” said Tiny Tim, the last of all.

He sat very close to his father’s side upon his little stool. Bob held his withered little hand in his, as if he loved the child, and wished to keep him by his side, dreaded that he might be taken from him.

“Spirit,” said Scrooge, with an interest he had never felt before, “tell me if Tiny Tim will live.”

“I see a vacant seat,” replied the Ghost, “in the poor chimney-corner, and a crutch without an owner, carefully preserved. If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, the child will die.”

“No, no,” said Scrooge. “Oh, no, kind Spirit! Say he will be spared.”

How Tiny Tim follows the Three Roles of Minor Characters

As mentioned previously, there are three major roles of minor characters that add great value to a novel, through plot, character, and tone. For example, let’s jump back to Tiny Tim who nails all three roles (hence, one reason why this story is a classic!).

He Advances the Plot

Tiny Tim acts as a trigger for Scrooge’s sympathy. He “interests” Scrooge in a way the reader hasn’t seen yet in the plot – but should expect more of!

He Reveals insight about Scrooge

Although Tiny Tim never speaks directly to Scrooge in Dicken’s classic, he unhooks insight into the man Scrooge could be if he abandons his coldhearted, selfish ways illustrated in act one. This gives hope for Scrooge’s fate, and stirs sympathy in the reader for Scrooge. Think how different this scene would be if Scrooge did not care about Tiny Tim’s fate, but wished it instead.

He Sets the Setting/Tone

Minor characters can easily set the tone for a scene in a novel in a way that impacts how readers feel about a character, for increases tension. In this case, Tiny Tim sheds innocence, kindness, love, and hope into the story in a way that Scrooge foils. Despite his sickness, Tiny Tim wants to bless everyone…compared to Scrooge, who cursed people and praised gold coins. Tiny Tim suggests that there’s hope in the scene, and yet, everything is quickly destroyed when the spirit reveals Tiny Tim’s fate…that is, if Scrooge refuses to change. Help him, Scrooge! Save sweet Tiny Tim!

Making Minor Characters Count

Minor characters in your story must serve a purpose, otherwise bite the bullet and cut them. I know that sounds rough, but without purpose to a minor character, you’ll only slow your story down. If you know A Christmas Carol, notice how Tiny Tim has brothers and sisters but they are barely mentioned. There’s a reason for this. Just as there is a reason for giving Tiny Tim his day in the sun.

How Tiny Tim Counts

By the time Scrooge sees Tiny Tim, he has already ventured to his forgotten past with the Ghost of Christmas Past. Hence, Scrooge’s transformation has already begun and the plot advances to Christmas present…to this scene, where Scrooge ends troubled, terrified of the fate that may follow it.

Like all strong minor characters, they should say or do something that deeply impacts the protagonist in a reflective (internal) or active (external) way (maybe both!). For instance, after Scrooge watches Tiny Tim with the Ghost of Christmas Present, we witness a moment that Scrooge has “never felt before”. He grows fearful for the child of his old employee, and begs the spirit to tell him the child’s fate. What’s even more shocking is that Scrooge is emotionally disturbed by the spirit’s response, unlike our introduction to Scrooge in the first act. We see a transformation well on its way as our plot advances.

But what does this say about Tiny Tim’s role? Well, for starter’s Tiny Tim is, literally, a crutch in Scrooge’s character transformation and the plot’s resolution. It is Tiny Tim’s family, after all, who Scrooge purchases a prize-winning turkey for in the end. Tiny Tim who, despite his small role in three total scenes, touches Scrooge’s heart in a way that makes him “better than his word…and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father.”

Now, that’s what I call a minor character with purpose.

God bless us, Minor Characters and all!

Writing Challenge

Now that you know all about the major roles of minor characters, try writing a short scene for your novel that includes a supporting character who propels the plot forward. Feel free to share it in the comments section below!

Abigail K. Perry is a commercial fiction writer living in Massachusetts where she teaches creative writing and film production. She received her B.S. in TV, Radio, and Film from Syracuse University and her Master’s in Education from Endicott College, and has worked as a creative production intern in for Overbrook Entertainment and as a marketing and sales intern for Charlesbridge Publishing.

In addition to writing, Abigail plans to teach screenwriting at An Unlikely Story (the priceless local bookstore owned by Diary of a Wimpy Kid’s Jeff Kinney) in Plainville, MA. This class is in development and will launch soon!

Abigail is a member of the DIY MFA street team and a loyal follower of Writer’s Digest. You can read more about her work on this website or follow her on Twitter @A_K_Perry 

The post Three Major Roles of Minor Characters appeared first on DIY MFA.

Not too much…other than writing it is one of the best ways to excite your publishers and readers. It will “serve you well for the entire writing project,” and likely target the ideas working well in your novel, and the ones that don’t.

Sweet Moses, that’s a lot of pressure on a small chunk of description – one hundred and fifty to two hundred words, to be exact. Hence, why I’d like to dedicate this article to strengthening a crucial part of your novel—The Pitch—which can, not ironically, influence your back cover.

Let’s Talk Books 

Objective:

Write a one hundred and fifty to two hundred word pitch that illustrates a character to root for, large canvas of emotions, incidents, and high stakes.

Discussion Questions:

• How do I make my readers care about my protagonist?
• What are the stakes? Are they high enough?
• Do I avoid arcane backstory and plot?
• What is my inciting incident? Is it obvious in my pitch?
• Does my pitch excite me? Will it excite others?

Resources:

James Scott Bell’s Revision and Self Editing for Publication and Mitch Albom’s The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Writing Your Pitch

Before writing your pitch, examine the back covers for books in your novel’s category and genre – at least ten. Go ahead, grab them. Hop on Amazon. Do your research. Sit down. Relax. Read them over. Take your time. Don’t worry, I won’t go anywhere.

All set? Awesome! Now, did you find a back cover that struck your interest more than the others? Take it out again. What do you notice? Is there a character you want to learn more about? Do the stakes feel exciting and impossible to pass up? I bet there was – and here’s why.

What Strong Back Covers Include

Back cover should provide about a paragraph or two of your story’s protagonist, what they yearn for, and the obstacles that are certain to get in their way.

What Strong Back Covers Don’t Include

Lots and lots of backstory! You don’t want to drag down exciting hooks with arcane plot and other unnecessary details. Keep your back-cover copy in the moment. Doing so will keep the reader excited, which will sell your book!

How Can You Write a Strong Back Cover?

Writing a strong back cover is – yes; I’ll say it – impossible, without examining dust jackets from successful novels, that is. It’s why I’ve pulled the back cover for Mitch Albom’s The Five People You Meet in Heaven for us to examine.See if you can pin what works well in this description, and that would work as a killer pitch!

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

“Eddie is a grizzled war veteran who feels trapped in a meaningless life of fixing rides at a seaside amusement park. As the park has changed over the years – from the Loop-the-Loop to the Pipeline Plunge – so, too, has Eddie changed, from optimistic youth to embittered old age. His days are dull routine work, loneliness, and regret.

Then, on his 83^rd birthday, Eddie dies in a tragic accident, trying to save a little girl from a falling cart. With his final breath, he feels two small hands in his – and then nothing. He awakens in the afterlife, where he learns that heaven is nut a lush Garden of Eden, but a place where your earthly life is explained to you by five people who were in it. These people may have been loved ones or distant strangers. Yet each of them changed your path forever.

One by one, Eddie’s five people illuminate the unseen connections of his earthly life. As the story builds to its stunning conclusion, Eddie desperately seeks redemption in the still-unknown last act of his life: Was it a heroic success or devastating failure? The answer, which comes from the most unlikely sources, is an inspirational glimpse of heaven itself.”

Why This Description Sells

Take a second to look back at this blog’s discussion questions. Does Mitch Albom’s back cover copy meet all the proposed standards? Heck yes! I’ll tell you why in three smart steps…

1) It Gives Us a Reason to Root for the Protagonist

Notice the first paragraph describes Eddie, an eighty-three year old “grizzled war veteran who feels trapped in a meaningless life” and his day-to-day work. What makes this description so striking is that a) he’s super relatable and b) he creates empathy.

I mean, the poor guy is eighty-three and still working at an old amusement park – he feels trapped in his meaningless work. He’s lonely, he’s regretful. Who hasn’t doubted his self-value before? Who hasn’t felt trapped at some point in their life and would die for a way out?

Unfortunately for Eddie, dying is his exact way out. If not in the way he expected…  

2) It Suggests Potential for Lots of Emotions and Conflict

We move on to paragraph two, entering our first major plot point – in other words, the inciting incident. What happens to poor Eddie? He enters heaven after trying to save a little girl from a terrible accident. He enters, let’s say, an unordinary world and leaves the first act’s ordinary one.

Quick notes on some details that make this second paragraph a major success: a) we have even more reason to love and root for Eddie: he gives his life to save an innocent child, and b) we don’t know if he saved that child.

Remember, all great stories thrive on a secret that is mentioned in the first act of the book. What is your secret that takes a novel-length book to answer? How do you draw this out in your back-cover copy?For Albom, he mentioned that the last thing Eddie feels before death is “two small hands in his”…but whose hands are these? And did he save them, or not? Two very captivating questions that will take several pages to answer.

3) It Raises the Stakes

We come to it at last: the third paragraph, the whipped cream on this back-cover copy’s ice cream sundae, the sweet hook that raises the stakes and motivates readers to purchase the book. By the third paragraph, we know this story’s lead character – Eddie – and we have a reason to root for him – he finds his life meaningless, and he sacrificed his life to save a little girl…who we don’t know if he saved or not. If we read on we know we’ll also learn (as Eddie will) the meaning of his life, told by five people he meets in heaven. A meaning that he questioned as meaningless when he was alive.  

Is he right?

Great pitches like this one crank up the tension on the previously stated question or secret and excite the readers by – that’s right – raising the stakes. Act Two, which is quickly summarized in the last two paragraphs of this pitch, is a muddle of incidents and obstacles, of decisions and reactions, of snatching what the lead character yearns for the most over and over again.

We see this in Albom’s back-cover as Eddie “seeks redemption in the still-unknown last act of his life”. In the last lines of his back-cover, Albom is strategic by proposing a question – was it a heroic success of devastating failure? Questions inevitably make readers think about the character and story more and more.

Writing Challenge

Write your own back cover copy and share it in the discussion section for other column readers to give feedback. Ask yourself:

• Do I open my copy with my protagonist, and do I give my readers a reason to root for her? Like her? Relate to her?
• Do I include the inciting incident in my novel but avoid arcane plot details and heavy backstory?
• Do I propose an unresolved dilemma for my protagonist? Something to excite readers and publishers? That excites me?

The last of these questions, of course, you won’t know unless you share it with other readers. Lucky for you, we have the discussion column below. Use the hashtag #LetsTalkBooks to get conversations rolling! Have fun with it, and good luck!

Abigail K. Perry is a commercial fiction writer living in Massachusetts where she teaches creative writing and film production. She received her B.S. in TV, Radio, and Film from Syracuse University and her Master’s in Education from Endicott College, and has worked as a creative production intern in for Overbrook Entertainment and as a marketing and sales intern for Charlesbridge Publishing.

In addition to writing, Abigail plans to teach screenwriting at An Unlikely Story (the priceless local bookstore owned by Diary of a Wimpy Kid’s Jeff Kinney) in Plainville, MA. This class is in development and will launch soon!

Abigail is a member of the DIY MFA street team and a loyal follower of Writer’s Digest. You can read more about her work on this website or follow her on Twitter @A_K_Perry 

The post Writing Back Cover Copy: A Secret for Your Novel’s Success appeared first on DIY MFA.