Remember that romance novel you’ve always dreamt of writing? The one tucked within the recesses of your brain with a killer plot, dynamic characters, and a love story unlike any other? Well, jump up and slap yer pappy, by gumbo. It’s time to get that romance novel on paper. 

November is just one creepy footstep past Halloween and that means the final countdown to yessiree:  ***NaNoWriMo***

NaNoWriMo is the acronym for National Novel Writing Month. During November, participants write an entire novel. No need to adjust your bifocals. In one 30-day period, you bleed a novel of 50,000 words onto the page to ‘WIN’ NaNoWriMo.

 For those with a curious nature, 50,000 words break down to a whopping 1,667 words a day. This is NaNo-madness with a capital ARE YOU INSANE? But it is just the fire under your butt needed to make your romance novel a reality.

The official website to register for this hair-pulling craziness is www.nanowrimo.org. You will find every detail from pre-planning to post-meltdown. There are even award badges given to entice fingertips to tap, tap, tap away at the keyboard. Plus, a few I thought would be perfect additions.

PERFECT NEW AWARD BADGES (In My Opinion):

1. A Little Brown Outhouse with Yellow Trim

For utilizing a bedside commode as a desk chair. Who else feels like they need a V-8 forehead thump for not thinking of this?

2. A Silver Sow Necklace

For installing a trough along the edge of your writing desk. Hel—looooo???

3. A QWERTY Embroidered Badge

For forging ahead after a 4 a.m. face-plant onto the keyboard. Available in your choice of black & blue.

Here’s the plan:

1. Get a solid grip on your plot, main characters, conflict, setting, beginning, middle, and ending before the first of November. 

2. Absolutely no editing! Do not fix typos, correct grammar, nor filter your words. There are no ‘Grammar Nazis’ so write, write faster, write so fast you require safety glasses to squelch the key sparks (now that’s fast). Include all the nonsensical chitty-chatter that darts like an uncensored movie reel through your mind. (something completely asinine could become a jewel. Well, it could.)

3. It doesn’t matter if you slam George Carlin’s famous 7 words throughout your story, or if your story consists only of those 7 words, just write them over and over sporting a snarky little grin until you hit 50,000 words. Then, pick up the ‘Used the Most Profanity’ badge as you proclaim, “I won, I won!”

One rule exists that you MUST follow to hit 50,000 words in 30 days. Do NOT touch the backspace key. Remember the no-editing rule? If you’re lucky, a gorilla will jump atop your keyboard and whack your knuckles with a frozen banana. If you lean toward the unlucky side? Hit the backspace key and see where the gorilla shoves said banana. If you guessed, “In my ear?” Wrong. Dead wrong.

One more NaNoWriMo thought to consider. What do you think is going to happen around the last week of November? Excluding panic? You guessed it. BURN OUT. For this reason, attempt to push yourself in the beginning since you know the insanity increases as the days dwindle toward midnight on November 30th. I know coffee drinkers who chew the beans rather than take the time to brew. Yes, it gets that bad. Really. It gets THAT bad.

A final FYI: When December rolls around and you need to hide NaNoWriMo tirade-induced bald spots? Amazon sells hair extensions. Just sayin’.

How will you prepare for NaNoWriMo? Tell us in the comments.

Writers Write!!!

Tammy Lough loves creating women’s fiction bursting with humor, romance, and moxie aplenty. Read Lacey’s Lessons of Love, the first book in the For the Love of Lacey series. Available Spring 2023: Lacey’s Circle of Love and Fall 2023: Lacey’s Legacy of Love. She is an active member of the Missouri Romance Writers of America, Romance Writers of America, Southwest Writers, Saturday Writers, and Women Writing the West. You can connect with Tammy on her website, or on Twitter and Facebook.

The post NANO-WHAT-MO??? appeared first on DIY MFA.