We could have said, “No.” There were plenty of legitimate reasons to turn down this opportunity. But since becoming authors has been a lifelong goal of ours, we had to find a way to say, “Yes.” 

Thankfully, we have years of experience writing with little kids running around. And the strategies that we learned over a decade of working from home with kids helped us capitalize on this incredible opportunity to have a book out into the world sooner rather than later!

Put the Kids First

We’ve all experienced those moments where the kids seem to be content so you try to sneak off and get a little bit of writing done. Five minutes later, you have a child crawling into your lap. This can be so frustrating, doesn’t allow you to put out your best work, and isn’t helpful to your relationship with your kids.

When we don’t meet our kids’ needs first, we can expect more frequent interruptions and higher levels of mom guilt. Instead, be intentional about creating time and space for our writing!

When I had little toddlers at home, I got into the following routine before opening up my laptop. We would all go into the kitchen, make snacks together, fill up sippy cups, sing songs together and make it fun! Then we’d all head to the bathroom to make sure that everyone went potty and had diapers changed. And then we’d go into our play area to make a fun set up.

I always looked for toys that didn’t necessarily go together and would hold their attention. An example of this is to dump on the Lincoln Logs on one side of the room, place the animal figurines on the other side of the room, and place the construction vehicles in the middle. Then I’d tell my kids that this was their construction site, and they got to build a zoo for their animals!

Once everything was set up, I would sit on the couch with my laptop and supervise while getting some uninterrupted writing time. This routine allowed me to connect with kids, meet their needs, and then set the boundary that I needed some time to work on my computer. Of course, I could not expect to sit and write for hours on end. But with that focused writing time, I was able to get a lot accomplished in small bursts!

Capitalize on Little Moments

As parents, we have had to learn to make the most of little chunks of time throughout our days. Maybe you do not have a few hours of quiet to sit and get lost in your writing. However, there is also value in writing in short sprints! I find that quick, 10 minute bursts of writing can be especially helpful when outlining or brainstorming for your work.

If you are feeling inspired, do not let that moment pass. The dishes can wait, but inspiration cannot. Give yourself permission to run with an idea and see what happens—whether that light bulb moment occurs at midnight or the middle of the day.

I have also given up on the idea of writing in a quiet space. With young kids at home, there is very little quiet and having that expectation only sets us all up for frustration. Instead, I bought some affordable, noise-dampening headphones and will listen to my writing playlist when I need to lose myself in my work. I can still hear if someone needs me, but it does not invade my thoughts the same way because I have soothing music playing to keep me focused. (Note: Depending on the ages of your children this may or may not work for you. Obviously little ones need much more supervision, and we have to be careful with how much we tune out.)

Live Your Life

Inspiration can come from anywhere, but it often comes from something away from your computer. Talking with friends, going for a walk, and even playing with my kids can all spark new inspiration; but that means that I need to be intentional about carving out time for those moments.

My kids are often my break from my work, and my work is my break from my kids. Kids have an amazing way of demanding your full attention and inviting you to see the world through their eyes. And when we shift gears and are able to enjoy those moments with them, they can be so restorative! On the other hand, since I love my work so much, writing is my guilt-free escape from my kids. I know that my husband can hold down the fort, and I can get lost for a little while to work on a project. I love this time in my own little writing world, and it lets me exercise a different part of my brain.

Since my kids often see me writing at my computer, it is a wonderful opportunity to share my work with them. I can share life lessons about just how many query letters got sent out and declined before we found our agent, and I can celebrate the wins with my children as well. They love getting to be a part of this journey with me, and many times they are genuinely helpful with their insights. When I asked my seven year old how he thought I could become a better writer, he told me that I should read more books. And I took that great advice!

We don’t always have to keep our writer lives and family lives separate. We can live one, beautiful cohesive life that ebbs and flows as-needed.

Shari Medini and Karissa Tunis are the co-authors of Parenting while Working from Home: A Monthly Guide to Help Parents Balance Their Careers, Connect with Their Kids, and Establish Their Inner Strength. They are also the co-owners of the popular parenting website, AdoreThemParenting.com. With six kids between them and over a decade of work from home experience, they love sharing strategies that help fellow parents minimize the overwhelm while trying to juggle it all.

The post How to Write with Kids at Home appeared first on DIY MFA.

1) Double down on note taking

One of the unfortunate realities of writing while parenting is having less time to write. If we’re not diligent (and quick) ideas will fly through our brain before we have a chance to stop them. That’s why I’m not shy about using a variety of digital tools to keep me moving forward. 

• Note apps: Many phones come with a standard note taking app, but my favorite is Simplenote. It’s free for both iPhone and Android users, and makes it easy to record any idea that comes to mind. You can use one note for everything—like a creative catchall—or create separate notes for various projects, such as blog posts, newsletters, poetry, or a book you’re writing. 
• Google Docs: A few years ago I transitioned to saving all my writing files in Google Docs. It’s easy to create a folder structure that keeps you organized, but my favorite feature is that it’s available at my fingertips. After having a baby, focused time sitting at my computer has been few and far between. I often make more headway by opening the document of whatever project I’m working on and drafting a few sentences (or even a few paragraphs) right on my phone. When I do have some time to work more deeply, all my scattered notes and ideas are already there.
• Evernote: If you consume a lot of content online (but don’t always have time to read in-depth articles the second you come across them), Evernote is a great option for saving things you’d like to revisit. I especially like it when I’m doing research, but not ready to dive in to all my findings just yet. 

2) Don’t stop experimenting

The thing about parenting—especially the first year—is things change quickly. One week your child is miraculously sleeping through the night, and another they wake up at 2 a.m, 4 a.m., and 6 a.m. I call these periods micro-seasons, when we’re forced to adapt to changing circumstances that don’t last very long in the grand scheme of things. 

If you’re more comfortable with a predictable routine for your writing life, one of the best pieces of advice I can offer is to actively work to undo this mindset. Someone once asked me how I found time to write my second book while parenting and working full-time, and I said I adopted a “take what I can get” philosophy when it came to my writing time. Five minutes during a nap? I took notes on my phone. Twenty minutes while my husband pushed our son around the block? Computer on. 

During the year my son nursed, I often typed on my phone with one hand, and I kept a notebook in the bottom of our stroller just in case I had an idea on one of our many afternoon walks. As he’s gotten older and our schedule has become more predictable, it’s been easier to commit to longer blocks of writing time, but my experimental mindset still stands.

3) Ask for help

It might not be the most comfortable thing to do, but asking for help is one of the best ways to ensure you get the support you need. Maybe it’s working out a childcare arrangement with your in-laws every other weekend, maybe your partner takes over the bedtime routine a couple of nights per week, or watches the kids on Saturday mornings so you can head to the local coffee shop. Whatever your writing goals, you’ll achieve them faster if you ask for what you need.

4) Leave the house

When it comes to doing the deep work required to finish something—from an article or blog post to an entire manuscript—I find sitting down in a new environment can help limit domestic distractions, of which there are many. Try a library on your lunch break, coffee shop on the weekends, or even a park. Just stay as far away as you can from dishes, laundry, homework, and the like. 

5) Do less

I’m the last person who wanted to admit that doing less would actually help me make progress, but it’s true. When you’re navigating family life, work responsibilities, and dreaming up characters in your head or getting through the first draft of your memoir, it’s empowering to set aside things that are less important, at least temporarily. 

When it came time to focus on my latest book’s manuscript, I said no to guest posting, freelance work, and blogging for about a year. I also watched less television at night and met up with friends less frequently. It was a series of intentional choices like this that ultimately paved the way for me to finish the project.

So long as you have young children and are also trying to write, you’ll have to make decisions about how to spend your time. This is a hard but reliable truth. Although, I’ve come to see parenting as a kind of compass for the writer’s life, because in forcing my hand to decide where to put my energy, it means the most important story that needs to be told will always rise to the surface. 

Nicole Gulotta is the author of Wild Words: Rituals, Routines, and Rhythms for Braving the Writer’s Path and Eat This Poem: A Literary Feast of Recipes Inspired by Poetry. As the founder of the Wild Words community, she helps writers embrace the season they’re in, create at their own pace, and care for their minds and bodies along the way. She lives outside Raleigh, North Carolina with her husband and son.

The post #5onFri: Five Ways to Balance Writing and Parenting appeared first on DIY MFA.