In publishing, it’s an absolute. 

Over the course of querying three novels and going out on submission three separate times, I have faced over five hundred rejections. And that’s not an exaggeration. Some were very difficult to handle, like the full requests that turned to no’s or the near offers that fell apart during acquisitions. 

Learning how to deal with rejection as an author is more important than ever because I believe the people that find success in writing are those that keep going, despite being told “no” many, many times. 

I could have stopped after my first one hundred or the second or the third, but I wouldn’t be where I am today if I had. Thanks to a lot of practice, I have found five effective ways to deal with rejection.

1. Change your Mindset toward Rejection

I told myself early on that “no” was just another two-letter word that really meant “Not right now” or “Noble attempt” or “Not today.” 

Treating each rejection as though it’s temporary (because it is) makes it easier to deal with them and continue forward. After all, a “yes” could be just around the corner. 

And it is true what they say, you only need one “yes.” 

My debut novel, The Perfect Marriage, was rejected by every major and mid-size publishing house. I decided to submit it directly to small publishers because I believed in it, and I knew with my ten years of social media and digital marketing experience, I could find my readership. It was published in July 2020 with a small UK publisher and has gone on to sell over 180,000 copies across formats. It hit the Publisher’s Weekly bestseller list, Amazon Charts bestseller list, and Apple Books bestseller list. The film/tv rights were optioned to Picture Perfect Federation, and it’s been translated into nearly a dozen languages. 

Even after all of that, I was still getting “Not today” when I began querying another project. Over 100 agents said, “no” to my next thriller One of Us is Dead. Only one (my agent, Sandy Lu) said “yes.” The book got multiple offers on submission and sold in a very nice deal to Blackstone Publishing (out April 26^th). 

Were all those publishing houses or the 100+ agents wrong for saying no to me? Absolutely not. It wasn’t right for them. But the point is don’t let all the no’s stop you from finding your yes.

2. Treat Yourself

This might sound counterintuitive to treat yourself when you didn’t get the outcome you were looking for. 

However, getting a rejection is an accomplishment in itself because you put yourself out there because you took a risk because you’re actively pursuing your passion. And that should be celebrated. 

So, if you have a particularly hard knock-back, or perhaps it’s your very first, treat yourself. Get a manicure, buy some new stationery, eat a comfort meal, have a glass of wine; do whatever you need to take care of yourself. 

3. Wallow in Self-Pity (temporarily)

I myself have done my fair share of wallowing in self-pity, and I will say it does help if it’s temporary. 

It’s completely okay to be upset or frustrated with rejections, and those feelings shouldn’t be suppressed. They’re valid. 

Allow yourself to feel them and take a day to be upset, but then get back to work. 

Heck, you can even use those negative feelings to propel you forward, because there’s nothing more motivating than wanting to prove your ‘naysayers’ wrong.

4. Refocus

You can’t control if an agent says yes or no to represent you. You can’t control if an editor says yes or no to acquire your book. So, it’s time to refocus, or better yet focus on what you can control; and that’s your work. 

If you’re out on submission, start writing the next book. If you’re querying a project, start writing the next book. Putting your energy into another book while you’re querying or on submission can help dull the sting of any rejections you might face. 

Also, having something else in the works is a great reminder that it isn’t over until you stop trying. 

5. Accept the Rejection

As I said earlier “rejection is an absolute in publishing.” You will get rejected. You will get declined more than once. If you’re like me, you’ll get rejected hundreds of times. 

Rejection is just a part of this journey and the sooner you realize and accept that, the easier it is to deal with it. So, the next time someone tells you “No” —remember you are not alone. 

We have all been there because rejection is a stepping stone in publishing. Some of us just have a lot more steppingstones to cross over, which is fine, because every path to publication is different. 

You just have to stay on your path and keep pressing forward until you reach your destination.

Tell us in the comments: How have you dealt with rejection?

Jeneva Rose is the bestselling author of The Perfect Marriage, which has been published in nearly a dozen languages and optioned for film. Originally from Wisconsin, she currently lives in Chicago with her husband and stubborn English bulldog. One of Us Is Dead is her third novel. You can follow her on Twitter, Instagram, or her Facebook page.

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1) With flash fiction, you get something finished (and published!)

Picture this: you’re working on your manuscript. You’re 65,000 words into it, and you’re not sure whether you’re going to make it. You tell someone you’re a writer. “What do you write?” they ask. If you’re me, when people ask you this, all you can think about are the plot holes and the character who is not cooperating with their given directions. 

However, when I talk to people about my writing, I can tell them about the novel-length manuscript I’m both pouring my heart into and tearing my hair out over, or I can say, “I wrote this really funny story the other day about a bunch of outdoor diners getting squished by a giant bowling ball.” Because I had an idea one day when I was out walking the dog, and later that week I sat down and wrote a whole story. 

The act of finishing something is so gratifying, and it can boost your confidence that you will one day finish your manuscript. Additionally, flash fiction is a comparatively small ask for your critique partners. I’m constantly sending friends stories with fewer than 1,000 words because I know it won’t be a huge drain on their time to review.

The more polished flash fiction you have, the more pieces you can send out for publication. A lot of lit mags, especially newer ones, are steering away from longer pieces because they know everyone is busy and wants a quick, engaging story. Getting something published is also a huge confidence boost – proof that someone wants to read your writing and thinks that other people should too. The more flash you write, the more you can get published, the more you have to talk about with friends and family, and the more confidence you have that you can finish that manuscript.

2) You tighten up your prose.

Some people tumble out of the womb, pick up a pen, and write perfect sentences without any more words than necessary. I’m not one of those people and I doubt you are either (I imagine those people as residing mostly in cabins without internet). It took me several years to come to terms with the fact that I’m wordy, but now I relish going through drafts and cutting words mercilessly. Flash fiction is an excellent way to practice excising unnecessary words and playing with a sentence until you get to a structure with three fewer words (that still makes sense, of course).

Shorter sentences usually make for stronger sentences. Passive voice, for example, takes more words than active. Take “Jane was run over by the car” and put it in active voice – you save a word and get a stronger sentence out of the deal. Once you write a few pieces with strict word counts (that absolutely can be self-imposed, I recommend this for practice), you’ll find yourself going to town on your longer pieces as well.

3) You have to kill your darlings.

I found a lit mag that I thought was a perfect fit for a piece of flash fiction I’d written. I’d pored over every word, tightening up my prose to under 1,000 words, and I was excited to start sending it out. Then I looked at the submission requirements: 800 words or less. I knew that my story was as concise as possible – the only option was to start taking out entire sentences or paragraphs. And so, I had to evaluate every sentence and every section and ask myself: is this strictly necessary to the plot? Is it necessary for what I want my story to convey to readers? There were a couple sentences that I absolutely loved that I thought had beautiful imagery or particularly clever phrasing. But they weren’t necessary for the story I wanted to tell, so into the garbage they went.

It’s good for us as writers to look at our writing objectively, to decide whether a phrase or paragraph or chapter is strictly necessary. It’s easy to get swept up in the details and the scenery when you have 80,000 or even 5,000 words, but when you have the hard stop of a flash fiction word count, it makes you consider every phrase in a new light. Of course, sometimes you decide that everything is imperative, that the story would suffer for cutting anything, and that’s when you know you have a good, tight story. Once I cut my story down to 800 words, I found another lit mag with a requirement of 700 words, and I knew that I couldn’t do it.

(In a stroke of irony, the version of the story that I actually got published was under 500 words. But it was a different story by that point.)

4) You get to the action (or don’t!)

As you’ve gathered by now, flash fiction is a game of choice. The great thing about flash fiction is that you can get away with a lot that readers wouldn’t always accept from a novel or short story because there’s less room for a narrative arc. Personally, I’m a big fan of random snippets of action that leave the reader asking questions about the larger context (flash fiction is great for sci fi for this reason). But if you want to spend 800 words describing an interesting person and then 150 piquing the reader’s interest with what might happen to them, you can! Or you can write a fight scene with only a few clues about the characters’ relationship or the moments preceding the fight. The traditional constraints aren’t there, so have some fun.

5) With flash fiction, you have fun with form

I naturally gravitate towards writing in past tense, third person limited POV – the thought of writing a longer piece in first person or present tense stresses me out. But I was recently working on a flash piece, and a friend read it and suggested putting it in present tense. It already had a sense of urgency, and present tense might serve it well. As soon as I started considering it, I thought, what if it was in second person too? 

So, I rewrote the entire thing in second person present tense, and I loved it. The second person point of view gave my story even more urgency, and I quickly realized how many words I could save in present tense. For my longer pieces, I’m still a past tense third person limited kinda gal, but I’ve started experimenting more, and realizing that other formats can be a lot of fun.

So put that manuscript aside for one day, write something short and fun, and see if it doesn’t help get the creative juices flowing.

Marina is a West Coast native living in Washington, DC. She loves writing anything, from sci-fi to creative non-fiction to romance, often drawing inspiration from the frequent travel required by her day job. Her work has appeared in such literary magazines as DistrictLit and Corner Bar Magazine. When she’s not writing, you can find her hosting bar trivia, baking something involving peaches, or bothering her extremely patient dog, Daisy. You can read more of her work at marinabarakatt.com and find pictures of Daisy at twitter.com/marinabarakatt.

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1) Savor the moment

First, enjoy your accomplishment. You’ve worked hard for a long time, and you’ve succeeded. Not everyone persists and succeeds, but you did! Tell everyone and enjoy a party—you’ve been writing for a while, alone, so break out a little. Take the time to truly savor your accomplishment.

2) Mind the gap!

Mind the gap between what you expect and what you experience. If this is your first publication, you’re in a new world (and if this is not, you’ll know the drill, but it’s good to be reminded). The serious subject of sales will quickly overshadow publication joy—it’s a fact of your new life—but you can help promote your sales by working through steps 3 and 4.

Friends and family will be congratulatory and really pleased for you…except the ones that seem, well, jealous, and either ignore your feat or say weird things about it. It really isn’t you, don’t worry, but don’t be surprised if you hear things like, “You know I’ve written a book, too,” or “Maybe I’ll write a novel,” instead of a simple, “Good for you!” I never thought post-publication would hold social terrors, but once news of my publication spread, a few acquaintances and friends were at best tone deaf and at worst downright weird toward me. Most have been supportive and even excited for me, but here’s an exchange that illustrates one type of weirdness encountered:

She: I just bought your book!

Me: Thank you! Enjoy it!

She (at the top of her lungs at a party): So-and-so told me it’s hard to get into, but once you get past the beginning, it’s good.

Me: Speechless.

Chalk it up to whatever and appreciate your new understanding of these people—it’s information. You’ll be able to tell who has actually read your book and appreciated it versus those who did neither, whatever they say. Better to accept the fact that not everyone will enjoy what you wrote—after all, you don’t read every genre and haven’t liked every book you’ve ever read either. The people who tell you they loved your book with feeling and detail will make you unimaginably happy.

 3) Hit social media hard

With fanfare, post the steps of your publication on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, your blog, and website. Use all of your online social media platforms, but don’t neglect your local newspaper or your book club, library and writers’ groups.

Post the photo of the cover art, your author’s photo and the release dates for each version: paperback, hardback, Kindle/device, and audio. When the book is released—online or in brick stores—post photos of book signings, the bookstore window, the blurb on Amazon. Keep hitting your social media hard. Ask your readers to post reviews and ratings on Amazon and Goodreads—give them a chance to read it, but don’t be shy—keep asking.

4) Dig in, dig deeper

Unless you scored a traditional publishing house with deep pockets, you’ll be responsible for the book’s promotion—that’s certainly true of indie/hybrid and self-publishing. If you are lucky enough to have an agent, the agency will help promote the book, but in the modern world, you’re responsible for your own promotion at least to some degree.

If you don’t have an agent, start pitching again to agents with your book already reviewed and selling. By this time, you know how to choose agents with whom you have the best chance of a successful submission, but for a quick reminder, see this article, Query Tracker, Guide to Literary Agents 2019, Writer’s Market 2019, and other sources.  Remember that reputable agents will never ask for upfront fees. If you are thinking about exploring book marketing consultants or book marketing courses, both can be expensive, so only consider those endorsed and offered by reputable organizations like Writer’s Digest and diyMFA.

Meanwhile, if your book is available on Amazon, set up the “Follow the Author” page and the author page on Goodreads, and those on the online writers’ and readers’ groups to which you belong. Follow the prompts given such as “ask the author a question,” etc.—refresh and add to those sections regularly.

Contact the book reviewer for your local newspaper and suggest an interview and review of your book. If your publisher does not supply review copies, buy them yourself and send to appropriate journalists, bookstore owners, and writers for review magazines.

Do your homework—if you belong to a genre organization (and you should belong to as many as possible), check out their review system and submit your book for a published review. Plan to attend book fairs and writers’ conferences with copies of your book to sell— hit the road. The conferences also will provide the opportunity to pitch to agents in person and network with other writers—all worth the expense of the fee and travel because the exposure is priceless.

Think about the living writers whose work you admire the most. Send each a copy of your book (via their agent or publisher) with a note of praise for their work and thanks for their inspiration. All writers are busy, but all writers read, and it’s a worth a try. Imagine a writer you admire liking your book and telling her friends—at the very least it will provide an opportunity—a conversational gambit—to connect with them at conferences and book signings.

 5) Write

Go back to your roots: sit down and start a new book, write blog posts, or short pieces for publication. Remind yourself that you wanted to write, that you are a writer—so write! Work on tips 3-4, think creatively about how to help sales, then sit down and write something new. Writing will help you thrive while promoting your book, and will build your craft, your reputation, and your oeuvre. You are a writer first and foremost, that’s clear—enjoy yourself and write. Do it for your readers, the ones who loved your book and miss the world you created for them—they’ll love you for it.

Constance Emmett’s debut historical/LGBT+novel, Heroine Of Her Own Life, published by Next Chapter, begins shipping at the end of August. She writes in an aerie-like office in the beautiful foothills of the Massachusetts Berkshires. Her non-fiction is posted on her blog, or connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram.

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My agent calls, and I swallow the urge to scream. Bad news comes via email. If she’s calling that only means one thing—that magic word—DEAL.

She received an offer from Samhain Publishing for my novel Racing To You. This is what all writers know as . . .

The Call:

I’m speechless, sort of. I say thank you, I think. It’s more like: say what? They want the next book by when? You mean in a year, not by the end of the year, right?

I hang up, a skipping madness of “ah!” more like “AHHHHH!”. The only thing keeping me from giggling myself into an ulcer is the number of people I have to call. Or not call, because I can’t tell anyone. Until it’s official.

When I tell people, “I have good news, but I can’t say what it is.” More than one person asks, “Are you pregnant?”

I think, Nah, this is way better than a baby.

My brain seizures on the phrase, I got a book deal over and over. It’s so constant I can’t think, I can’t work. I lose four days of writing to the phenomena. I nickname it Deal Freeze.

The Contract:

Making it official should spur dancing in the streets, clinking of glasses and overflowing felicitations. I’ve fantasized about this for years. I’ve put endless hours of work into this. My agent has put endless hours of work into this. (Hours that she’s put in for free.)

On seeing the contract though, to my horror, I feel sick inside. Faced with the legal jargon, all I can think is, I’m signing my book away.

I don’t want to self-publish. That’s not what it’s about. I admire the bravery and tenacity of authors who control every aspect of publishing their books. But that’s not for me.

Perhaps I’m still, after everything, too attached to my book. People talk about authors thinking their book is their baby. But it feels like more than that. It’s about my safe world that allows me to write for myself. It’s mine, damn it. And no one can take it away from me.

I know logically, the contract isn’t taking away my writing. That’s absurd. I re-read the first clause of the contract, the standard one, the part where is says, I retain the copyright to my book. I still own it. The story that I created is still mine. I’m only loaning out the rights to sell it.

Me and my dreams of traditional publishing, the ones where I don’t have to embark on the journey alone and do every step of the work myself—we cry, Yes, please.

I sign it with glee.

But the struggle for that decision cost me. Despite my shiny new deadline for book number two (the first real deadline I’ve ever had), I lose three more days of writing to Deal Freeze.

The Deal:

The announcement goes up on Publisher’s Marketplace. I’m a flurry of Twitter and email and Facebook and texts and phone calls and updating my website and…I lose two more days of writing to Deal Freeze.

The announcement sends heart attacks of fear through my veins. My pulse races for hours. I’m a professional writer. People are going to pay money for what I write. My writing isn’t a hobby anymore. It’s work.

Take me back, I think. To when it didn’t matter. To when this was just a game and I was doing it for me.

It’s NaNoWriMo, my favorite time of year. Writing a minimum of 1k a day and having no idea what’s going to come from my fingertips—word dumping—it’s my favorite sport.

The book I got this deal for, Racing To You, is a product of NaNoWriMo 2014.

But suddenly, the philosophy of “just put something on the page, who cares if it’s crap” feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Are those days over? How do I protect my precious writing from Deal Freeze?

The same way I still own the copyright of my book, I still control my writing space. What’s causing my Deal Freeze is not phone calls or contracts or Twitter announcements. It’s me.

Deal Freeze doesn’t actually exist. I made it up.

And just like characters in my book, I can kill it too.

My laptop is still here. So am I. The deal isn’t here to steal my writing time. It’s here to make me money, and the more money I make, the less I have to work my day job. The less I have to work my day job, the more time I have to write.

So really, the deal is here to get me more write time, not take it away. Maybe when I get my next deal, I won’t lose quite so many days to Freeze.

Robin Lovett, also known as S.A. Lovett, writes contemporary romance, and her debut novel, Racing To You, will be released July of 2016. She is represented by Rachel Brooks of the L. Perkins Agency and has a forthcoming series releasing with SMP Swerve in the summer of 2017.

She writes romance to avoid the more unsavory things in life, like day jobs and housework. To feed her coffee and chocolate addictions, she loves overdosing on mochas. When not writing with her cat, you can find her somewhere in the outdoors with a laptop in her bag. Feel free to chat with her on Twitter.

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