In publishing, it’s an absolute. 

Over the course of querying three novels and going out on submission three separate times, I have faced over five hundred rejections. And that’s not an exaggeration. Some were very difficult to handle, like the full requests that turned to no’s or the near offers that fell apart during acquisitions. 

Learning how to deal with rejection as an author is more important than ever because I believe the people that find success in writing are those that keep going, despite being told “no” many, many times. 

I could have stopped after my first one hundred or the second or the third, but I wouldn’t be where I am today if I had. Thanks to a lot of practice, I have found five effective ways to deal with rejection.

1. Change your Mindset toward Rejection

I told myself early on that “no” was just another two-letter word that really meant “Not right now” or “Noble attempt” or “Not today.” 

Treating each rejection as though it’s temporary (because it is) makes it easier to deal with them and continue forward. After all, a “yes” could be just around the corner. 

And it is true what they say, you only need one “yes.” 

My debut novel, The Perfect Marriage, was rejected by every major and mid-size publishing house. I decided to submit it directly to small publishers because I believed in it, and I knew with my ten years of social media and digital marketing experience, I could find my readership. It was published in July 2020 with a small UK publisher and has gone on to sell over 180,000 copies across formats. It hit the Publisher’s Weekly bestseller list, Amazon Charts bestseller list, and Apple Books bestseller list. The film/tv rights were optioned to Picture Perfect Federation, and it’s been translated into nearly a dozen languages. 

Even after all of that, I was still getting “Not today” when I began querying another project. Over 100 agents said, “no” to my next thriller One of Us is Dead. Only one (my agent, Sandy Lu) said “yes.” The book got multiple offers on submission and sold in a very nice deal to Blackstone Publishing (out April 26^th). 

Were all those publishing houses or the 100+ agents wrong for saying no to me? Absolutely not. It wasn’t right for them. But the point is don’t let all the no’s stop you from finding your yes.

2. Treat Yourself

This might sound counterintuitive to treat yourself when you didn’t get the outcome you were looking for. 

However, getting a rejection is an accomplishment in itself because you put yourself out there because you took a risk because you’re actively pursuing your passion. And that should be celebrated. 

So, if you have a particularly hard knock-back, or perhaps it’s your very first, treat yourself. Get a manicure, buy some new stationery, eat a comfort meal, have a glass of wine; do whatever you need to take care of yourself. 

3. Wallow in Self-Pity (temporarily)

I myself have done my fair share of wallowing in self-pity, and I will say it does help if it’s temporary. 

It’s completely okay to be upset or frustrated with rejections, and those feelings shouldn’t be suppressed. They’re valid. 

Allow yourself to feel them and take a day to be upset, but then get back to work. 

Heck, you can even use those negative feelings to propel you forward, because there’s nothing more motivating than wanting to prove your ‘naysayers’ wrong.

4. Refocus

You can’t control if an agent says yes or no to represent you. You can’t control if an editor says yes or no to acquire your book. So, it’s time to refocus, or better yet focus on what you can control; and that’s your work. 

If you’re out on submission, start writing the next book. If you’re querying a project, start writing the next book. Putting your energy into another book while you’re querying or on submission can help dull the sting of any rejections you might face. 

Also, having something else in the works is a great reminder that it isn’t over until you stop trying. 

5. Accept the Rejection

As I said earlier “rejection is an absolute in publishing.” You will get rejected. You will get declined more than once. If you’re like me, you’ll get rejected hundreds of times. 

Rejection is just a part of this journey and the sooner you realize and accept that, the easier it is to deal with it. So, the next time someone tells you “No” —remember you are not alone. 

We have all been there because rejection is a stepping stone in publishing. Some of us just have a lot more steppingstones to cross over, which is fine, because every path to publication is different. 

You just have to stay on your path and keep pressing forward until you reach your destination.

Tell us in the comments: How have you dealt with rejection?

Jeneva Rose is the bestselling author of The Perfect Marriage, which has been published in nearly a dozen languages and optioned for film. Originally from Wisconsin, she currently lives in Chicago with her husband and stubborn English bulldog. One of Us Is Dead is her third novel. You can follow her on Twitter, Instagram, or her Facebook page.

The post #5onFri: The Five Stages of Dealing with Rejection appeared first on DIY MFA.

What is Reframing? 

Reframing means looking at something from another angle. When we use our imagination to view an issue from another direction, the fear or discomfort caused by that issue often subsides. We take our power back and transform this challenge into an opportunity. We engage our curiosity and ask why instead of just accepting the circumstance.

Often, when we receive a rejection for our work, we think of it as rejecting us, our talent, our dream. However, that’s often not the case. 

Many world-famous authors (note the “s”!) received rejection letters. 

In his book On Writing, Stephen King talks about having to replace the nail he used to impale his rejection slips with a spike since the nail wouldn’t support the weight. 

Kenneth Grahame was told that his classic children’s book Wind in the Willows would never sell. 

Catch-22, a cornerstone of American literature, was named after the number of rejections Joseph Heller received.

Does that change the way you look at their work? Of course not! Rejection is a normal part of the writer’s life. 

Reframing rejection supports us as we build the necessary resilience to move forward. It keeps us in a mode of learning and enthusiasm as we pursue our art.

Here are some tips on reframing rejection so you can take back your power:

Ways to Reframe

First, let’s talk about my most abhorred rejection, the one where the writing slips into the ethers of the internet and no one responds. I call this particular rejection “crickets” because that’s all I hear after the work goes out. 

In this case, that lack of response usually lies with the number of works received. Large numbers of submissions combine with the limited ability of an editor to reply to each author and make the “crickets” response unavoidable. After all, there are only so many hours in each day. SInce the tidal wave of work can overwhelm even the most dedicated editor, we can know the issue here is not our writing but their lack of time. 

How can you reframe this? Take your power and set your own deadline. If they miss it, feel free to send your query to the next editor on the list. 

Going through “crickets” multiple times makes any actual communication, even if it is a rejection of the work, feel like a prize. A simple “no” from an editor sends me running around the house yelling “YAHOOOO!”

So, why did they reject our work?

Most often, our work is rejected because it isn’t what the editor or agent is looking for at this time. Plain and simple. Maybe your short story about vampires landed on their desk at the end of a long spate of vampire stories or a romance novel set in 1920’s Portland refuses to spark your targeted agent. 

Or maybe your work showed up on a bad day. 

Or, or, or…. 

As our queries float out into the ethers of the internet, we cannot control any of these outside influences. None of this means we aren’t talented writers. It only means that it’s not time for that piece with that person.

Sometimes our writing just doesn’t resonate with that specific person. In that case, do we really want them touching our precious words? No! Of course not! 

The editor or agent who believes in our work blesses us by becoming an advocate, so don’t settle for someone who isn’t enthusiastic about your work. Remove that person from your list and move on to the next one. FYI—there will always be a next one.

Occasionally, we offend someone and they reject our work. Guess what? That means your work has a point of view. If you are doing your job as a human and an artist, then you can expect some people to reject your work. Take it as a sign you are making art. Rejoice in these rejections, you fabulous artist! 

How Can We Practice Reframing Rejection?

Of course, when we receive these rejections, they hit us hard. That’s natural, and taking a moment to indulge in some tears or screaming can be a good release. But, how do you build up your resilience so you can bounce back after these unfortunate occurrences?

Reflect on Past Rejection

First, it’s worth thinking back to other times in your life when rejection has occurred. How did you overcome and release those rejections? What were ways that worked for you to move past them? 

Maybe you turned a high school bully into the murder victim in a short story or blessed an ex as they moved on or cleaned out a room to get rid of the bad energy. 

Make a list of methods you used to get over those old rejections. When you think you’ve remembered all of the ways, see if you can’t think of another couple more. 

With that list, consider which of these strategies you might use to reframe this particular rejection. Pick one and give it a try.

But maybe you have always had a hard time with rejection, and can’t think of a time that you were able to release this horrible feeling. 

Use Your Imagination

Now is the time to engage your imagination! 

Can you employ your curiosity to discover how this rejection expanded your experience? When reviewing your submission, did you find small mistakes that needed a bit of tweaking? Did the distance from your work help you to make a realization about the true path of your heroine?

Indulge a Little

Or maybe you just need a cuddle with the cat, a long bath, and a square of chocolate. A little self-pampering can ease a saddened heart and give you energy for the next run at the prize. And what a great excuse!

Get Creative

How about devoting yourself to those who love your writing instead of dwelling on the people who rejected your work? 

Switch your focus from the harshness of rejection to the welcoming warmth of your fans. How can you serve your readers by creating MORE of THAT? 

Your loyal readers want what you write. Give them what they desire instead of spending time obsessing over those few who aren’t fans. 

If All Else Fails…

Finally, if all else fails, listen to Ted Lasso. “You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It’s a goldfish. You know why? Got a ten-second memory.” Be a goldfish! 

Reframing rejection allows you to process the less pleasant part of writing without allowing it to pull you off track. Building this resilience makes you a stronger writer and artist, making it easier for you to send your words into the world for your real fans to find.

***This piece is inspired by Kaizen-Muse Creativity Coaching Tools as I continue my journey to becoming certified in that style. You can find more information at https://www.kaizenmuse.com.

Tell us in the comments: What are your strategies for reframing rejection?

LA (as in tra-la-la) Bourgeois empowers you to embrace JOY as you manifest your creative goals through her Creativity and Business Coaching. Battle resistance, procrastination, and overwhelm with her at your side, gently encouraging with humor and heart. When not coaching, you’ll find her with a pen or knitting needles in her hands. Discover her free guide, “Tricking Yourself into a Creative Habit” online at labourgeois.biz and start writing those words today. She can’t wait to read them! You can find her on her website.

The post Strategies for Reframing Rejection appeared first on DIY MFA.

In Episode 3 of this column, I wrote about how I completed the manuscript of my first novel in the early days of the pandemic and despite the death of my son.

From the end of Episode 3: Ultimately, I decided to go the traditional publishing route. Being traditionally published is how I’d always imagined my life as an author. Plus, I had no interest in rewriting the script to fit whatever actual year was on the calendar. So, I drafted a query letter. I thought I was finally on my way! Then absolutely nothing went like I’d imagined it.

Premature Querying

When my oldest son was twelve, he passed all of his promotion exams and was granted the rank of Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do. It was a towering achievement, a culmination of seven years of hard work. It was the top of the mountain, the cherry on the sundae, the end of the road. Right?

Nope. 

According to his teacher, Sahbumnim Ralph, it was just the beginning. “Now, the real work begins,” he told my son with a wink.

“Nah, I’m done,” my son said. And he meant it. He never took another class. Now he’s 28 and says he doesn’t know an ap chagi from a yeop chagi. 

Similarly, when I finished the manuscript I had written in 74 days and the revision I finished in another 60, I was sure I was done! All that was left was writing a generic query letter as a start and then finding the perfect agents for my book.

I spent hours researching agents who best matched with the genre and age range of my manuscript: a contemporary YA novel. I made a list of my favorites, put them into a spreadsheet, and highlighted all the agents who were interested in representing own voices or BIPOC authors, especially since I’m a mixed-race author who writes bilingual characters. My debut novel is written in 90% English, 10% Spanish.

Within a couple of days, I queried all seventeen agents on my spreadsheet. The evening that I sent the last email, I poured myself a glass of wine and fantasized about all the requests for a full manuscript that would surely be coming my way in the next few weeks.

From Pixels to Platform

As if I couldn’t have planned it any better, I was in the midst of DIY MFA’s Pixels to Platform course when I finished revising and querying. After sending off my queries into the ethernets, I was able to buckle down and finally start building my platform. 

I mean, with all those book deals surely coming my way, I needed to have some eager readers ready to celebrate with me, right?

I purchased my domain name and corresponding email address, downloaded WordPress, and paid for hosting. I was so grateful that I had completed all of the worksheets in the first few modules of Pixels to Platform because I used all of that information to create my own website.

It took a few days and a lot of trial and error learning how to use WordPress without breaking my site, but I finally achieved a balance between a basic form and rudimentary function.

The next step in my platform was building an email list. I signed up with ConvertKit and spent a day or so designing a landing page, creating a lead magnet and a welcome sequence for subscribers. I installed the ConvertKit widget on my website so my newsletter opt-in form would appear automatically for site visitors who hadn’t yet subscribed. I wrote a short article as my first blog post and made this the last email in my welcome sequence.

After pivoting my existing profiles on Twitter and Instagram from personal to professional, I posted a link to my website. A day or so later, I posted a link to my landing page (in case followers missed the link to my website), and a day or so after that, I posted a link to my blog. I also created an author page on Facebook and did the same there. 

The Sound of Silence

In the meantime, I hadn’t heard anything from the agents I had queried, but I reminded myself it had only been a few weeks. As I continued waiting, I focused on writing blog posts about lessons I had learned from challenging experiences in my life. 

As a high school teacher, one of my whys for writing a YA novel is to inspire young people to use their innate creativity and turn their trauma into art. I see the difference in young people who see themselves as artistic or creative, as compared to their peers who only see what they cannot do or who they cannot be. 

While my own creativity kept me hopeful for several weeks, the sound of silence grew louder. I had heard that many agents simply don’t have time to respond, so if there is no reply after 6 or 8 weeks, to take that as a rejection.

Soon, however, the replies trickled in. 

The Sound of Rejection

It’s not the sound of two hands clapping, that’s for sure!

One by one, I drew a pink digital highlighter through the line in the spreadsheet where I had typed that agent’s information. I wrote the date of the rejection next to each.

Many of the rejections were clearly a form letter, but surprisingly, a few agents gave me solid reasons why they weren’t able to go any further with my manuscript. One, a young Latinx agent, told me she really, really wanted to like my book but she couldn’t connect with my protagonist. Another agent gave me some very detailed feedback on the pages I had sent, which I was grateful for. 

With the consensus being that my book was not quite ready, I knew that I had rushed through the revision process and queried prematurely. Therefore, the next step should have been taking the suggestions of the agents who generously took the time to give me thoughtful feedback.

But that’s not what I did. Instead of getting back to work, I did nothing. 

Truth be told, I was over it. In my mind, I had already baked that cake and set it out at the church bazaar. The last thing I wanted was to take it back and fire up the oven again!

No. Maybe the truth, the real truth, was that I just couldn’t hack it. 

Maybe I just didn’t have what it takes to be a writer.

Stay tuned for Episode 5: Confessions of a Failed Pantser

Anita Ramirez is a writer and teacher who transforms dispassionate teens into lovers of books — one reader at a time. When she’s not teaching Hispanic/Latinx literature and composition to her high school students or linguistics at the college level, she’s revising her first novel, a YA contemporary featuring bilingual characters. She loves the poetry of Pablo Neruda, teen movies from the 1980s and café con leche. You can check out her website, or follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

The post Life of a Writer—Episode 4: Premature Querying and the Sound of Silence appeared first on DIY MFA.

I was devastated. I cried big, ugly toddler-sized tears for days. The bitterness lasted even longer. Why did two of my friends get book deals and I didn’t? My platform was bigger than theirs!

Years later, I realized that rejection was the greatest thing that ever happened to me professionally. That NO changed my entire life—for the better.

If that proposal had become a book deal, I would have been the author of a book I didn’t care about, and it’s more than possible I never would have discovered the power, profitability, and potential of self-publishing.

That NO was a gift because it forced me to pursue publishing in my own way—and use my own book idea. The book I wrote after that rejection, More than Cashflow: The Real Risks and Rewards of Profitable Real Estate Investing, has helped hundreds, maybe thousands, of real estate investors make better investment decisions. It went to number one on Amazon as a print book—ahead of Game of Thrones and Dan Brown in Canada. I also made way more money than I would have in a traditional publishing deal and kept full control over the content.  

So, if you’ve been told NO, say “thank you,” and make the most of it. Here are 5 ways to do that:

1. Explore Other Paths

When you hear NO, look at how else you can accomplish your objective. Rarely is it true that there is only one path available to get to where you want to go. What other options are there to get to the result you want? 

When a traditional book deal was no longer an option, I decided to self-publish. It was more challenging, but the rewards were far greater.

2. Pause and Reflect

NO is an opportunity to pause and reflect. Was the pursuit of that goal really important to you? I’d gotten lost in the excitement of potentially getting a book deal that I never really paused to think about the book topic my proposal was on. 

When I was rejected, I realized that I had almost no interest in writing the book they wanted me to write. What a relief to not be the author of a book I didn’t care about!

3. Fuel Your Determination

You can use rejection to fuel your determination to succeed. Ever met a kid that accepts NO at face value? There’s negotiation, strategy, tears, pleading, anger, and determination at the heart of every tiny human when they’re refused something that they want. It’s immensely frustrating as a parent, but there’s value in tapping into your inner child and fighting to get what you want. 

The rejection made me decide that if I was going to self-publish my book, it would be as good or better than if it had been traditionally published. I did hundreds of hours of research alongside the hundreds of hours I put into writing the book. I was fueled by the determination that I could do it as good or better—and I was going to prove it.   

4. Ask “Why Not?”

NO gives you the opportunity to ask, “Why not?” and learn something valuable from the answer. If you are told, “you can’t do that,” dig past the rejection and uncover the gift within. Sometimes the greatest opportunity lies in that hidden lesson, and simply accepting NO and moving on robs you of the opportunity to discover it. 

That publisher told me I didn’t have a strong enough platform to sell books. That made me dissect what platforms sell books. I researched book marketing strategy deeply, and ultimately realized I would have to connect with people who did have a platform and ask for their support! Thanks to the support of many other folks with sizable audiences, we sold thousands of books in a single week!

5. Find a New Direction

Sometimes NO is just a really great nudge that you’re going the wrong way. You’re chasing the wrong result or the wrong opportunity. Often, I think it is life’s way of saying, “Hey you need to turn around—you’re meant for bigger, better, and more impactful things.” If you were to have heard “yes,” your life would have been too full to pursue the bigger opportunity that was available to you. 

Being told NO by traditional publishers opened me up to the world of self-publishing—owning all your rights and keeping all your royalties—and if that hadn’t happened, I never would have started Book Launchers, which is pretty sad because I love it far more than I ever enjoyed any real estate deal. Together with my team, we’ve created a company that cares about our authors and their books deeply and supports them to self-publishing success. No book deals required!

NO can be so much better than a yes  if you choose to look for the value and opportunity in that moment. Sometimes you’ll need a bit of time to see the value and opportunity, but if you choose to find it, you will!

Julie Broad is the founder of self-publishing services firm Book Launchers and an Amazon Overall #1 Best Selling Author. Her popular YouTube channel BookLaunchers.TV teaches nonfiction authors how to write and market books people will want to read. An expert on writing with marketing in mind, Julie has been speaking on stages across Canada and the US since 2009, providing the best approaches to get results, make an impact, and ultimately, make more money. You can find out more about her on her website and follow her on LinkedIn. You can also find out more about BookLaunchers on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

The post #5onFri: Five Ways to Make NO Work for You appeared first on DIY MFA.

When I was 34, I got serious, joined a writer’s group and started another novel, but I dropped it about five chapters in — again, because life.

This year, I returned to that novel because it wouldn’t let me go. With the help of Rachael Herron’s 90 Days to Done course, I decided to start over from scratch and 74 days later, I finished it. A few months after that, I enrolled in DIY MFA’s Pixels to Platform course, which gave me all I needed to launch my writing platform.

And voila! My new writing career is now underway at the age of 48. In most careers, this would be considered too late to just be getting started. You might feel too old compared to your younger colleagues. However, with a writing career, it’s never too late, and there are five reasons why.

When you’re older, you know yourself better.

Just because you are older, doesn’t mean you are too old. From my teens to my 30s, I often set unrealistic expectations for myself and then gave up when I couldn’t achieve the impossible. At one point in my early 20s, I decided I would get my feet wet as a freelance writer by submitting articles to magazines. I wrote my very first article, did zero revisions, and then sent it off — along with my SASE — to YM magazine. When I received the inevitable rejection letter several weeks later, I took that as a sign that I didn’t have what it takes to be a writer, so I quit. That kind of all-or-nothing thinking was the norm when I was too young and idealistic to understand that worthwhile ventures require resilience and perseverance.

In contrast, when you’re older, you know your strengths and limitations, and how hard you can push yourself. You are better equipped to strive for — and accept — progress over perfection. This kind of self-knowledge is priceless when dealing with deadlines, struggling with motivation, and working on several writing projects at once.

You’re not too old, you have invaluable life experience.

Living a couple of extra decades means I have more to say now than when I was in my 20s. Although I write YA novels, the perspective I have 30 years removed from being hot off the griddle of angst allows me to write with more clarity and meaning than if I had written about the same teenage protagonists back then.

Most of us could probably tell at least a few heartbreaking anecdotes from our own lives. We’ve seen some stuff. These experiences not only provide fertile ground for growing stories, they enrich our ability to separate the wheat from the chaff in our revisions because by now, we know what matters most. It also helps us to write characters with more layers and depth because our earned wisdom is our greatest muse. We’ve been there, done that, and lived to tell about it. So, why not do it now?

You know the craft better now.

In my early 20s, I completed a six month course on writing for children and teenagers. It was from the Institute of Children’s Literature. Remember them? Their ads were everywhere back in the 80s and 90s. I also subscribed to Writer’s Digest, Poets and Writers, and The Writer magazines, and I read several books on the writing craft. While that all sounds impressive, what I didn’t actually do was write.

Maybe you’ve been thinking about writing for years, perhaps decades. Maybe you’ve even written on and off. However, all the time you’ve spent thinking about writing, studying writing and writing some here and there was not for naught. It was practice. You were priming the pump. You were observing, studying, taking it all in, and producing when you felt inspired. Now, it’s time to take all of that preparation and funnel it into actual writing, while trusting that you know what you’re doing because now you do.

Knowing there is no time to waste will keep you motivated.

I’ve been a high school teacher and college adjunct for close to twenty years. I have another decade before I can retire with some comfort. And I don’t feel old, I feel experienced. My plan is to do well enough in my writing career to be able to retire early, hopefully in the next five years or so. Therefore, since I began writing seriously this year, I’ve felt a sense of urgency about my writing career because I know I’m getting started much later in life than others.

Starting later isn’t a bad thing; it can help you create the momentum you need to keep going until you achieve the level of success you desire. What’s more, launching your writing career as an older adult will also provide you with something meaningful to focus on and sustain you in your later years.

You have more time to invest in yourself.

Although I’m nearing fifty, I don’t feel old. I remarried a decade ago and now have two young sons at home. However, I’m in the minority. Most women my age and older have moved beyond their child rearing years into another season of life. At that stage, you have more time to spend on doing what you enjoy without worrying about taking time away from your families and other responsibilities.

In addition, when you’re an older adult, you’re no longer striving to establish yourself in your previous or current career. This affords you the time and energy to pour into your writing and set goals for your writing career. Perhaps for the first time in your life, you will be working hard to do something you truly love. You can write with passion, knowing you’re doing it all for you — and your readers.

So, whether you’ve already started writing seriously or are still just thinking about it, know that now is the exact right time for you. There’s a reason you haven’t started your writing career until now. Trust that. Now, get going!

Anita Ramirez is a writer and teacher who transforms bilingual, dispassionate teens into lovers of books, one reader at a time. When she’s not teaching Hispanic/Latinx literature and composition to her high school students or linguistics at the college level, she’s revising her first bilingual YA novel and attempting to win NaNoWriMo while writing her second. Anita is a California native who’s been living in New York for the past 25 years. She loves the poetry of Pablo Neruda, teen movies from the 1980s and café con leche. You can find her at www.anitawritesbooks.com and connect with her on Twitter and Instagram.

The post #5onFri: Five Reasons You’re Never Too Old to Launch a Writing Career appeared first on DIY MFA.

Then I wrote Five Ways to Fit Writing into Your Busy Schedule and Honoring Your Writer Identity. 

In this post, I hope to address some of the seemingly insurmountable things on my list that don’t feel like excuses but literal roadblocks. 

I hope that you will be encouraged to no longer see these things as immovable as you try to inch them little by little and get your motivation back.

Loss/Grief

This one is tough, so why not address it first and get it over with?

One of the most difficult setbacks in life is the loss of something valuable. While the death of a loved one is so hard, we can experience similar feelings to varying degrees after the loss of a job we loved or the ending of a relationship. As writers, it’s important we “Honor our reality” and give ourselves space and self-care. 

Yes, we need to take care of ourselves but also remember that our writing can take care of us too. Our writing is an abstract thing that is part of us, and it will always be there waiting for us when we return to it.

For the sake of helping you out, I will put myself out there and say I suffered a loss-setback myself a few years ago. It was one of those really bad ones. But as I was going through my grief, I realized that writing was the only thing keeping me going. 

So I started up again and it was working. But one thing was missing. I felt I needed to interact regularly with other writers. I wanted to go back to school, but then I found DIYMFA, which was a much more manageable route to getting back on track.

By signing up for DIYMFA and embracing my writing life, I was coping much better with my loss. It pulled me out of that grief cycle and gave me something to work on and through which to channel my creativity. It also helped me meet lots of great new people who gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning. 

My advice: go through your stages of grief, but don’t give up. Free-write/journal about your experiences until it all comes out. Then shift gears and focus on something new.  Cry and rage, but always come back to the page.

Illness

Another rough thing to experience and address is illness, which can also happen in varying degrees. Whether it’s the shock from an unexpected diagnosis, the coping with symptoms, or even a chronic illness you’ve had for years (been there), it might be tempting to put your “writing hobby” on the back burner. 

Don’t do that. Of course, if you are suffering so much you can’t function, your writing will take a backseat, but like with grief, you can have good days and bad. On those good days, let yourself experience the joy of writing. Say “No” to things that don’t bring you joy and focus on writing. It’s obviously not a cure-all, but like laughter, writing can be great medicine. 

My advice: use a calendar to track the days you feel like writing and the days you don’t. Give yourself a sticker/smiley face/treat or something more fitting to your personality on those days as positive reinforcement for trying. The more you do this the more you will associate your good days with writing and associate the writing itself with positive experiences.

Rejection/Bad Critique

This one is more writer-oriented, and “isn’t as serious” but tell that to any writer who just experienced it. The best way around this one is the mindset shift of realizing that it happens to ALL WRITERS.

Yes, it does. And, once you embrace that getting bad critique or receiving rejection from an agent and so forth is all part of the process of writing, it makes it easier to swallow it and persevere. It also makes you a better writer. Remember, even the best quality writers still aren’t perfect. 

Lots of famous authors have different stories of how they dealt with rejection. No one is an overnight success. Debunk myths around writing and educate yourself with the process. The more knowledgeable you are about this industry and what it takes to be successful, the more resilience you will have as a result. 

My advice: give yourself a reason other than publication to submit something. Sure, that’s your goal, but if you don’t get that, what else do you receive? Free writing advice from a knowledgeable source? A better understanding of your genre and who your readers are? A push to do better and know better and write better next time? Keep asking yourself those difficult questions and hold yourself accountable. 

So those were “the big 3” reasons why writers stop writing. And they happen to everyone.

The moral here: life can really suck, but don’t give up on the one thing that makes it better.

Amy Ayres is the Tech Fairy at DIYMFA. When she is not in her office writing about terraformed planets, multiple personalities, and Irish folklore, she is hanging with her awesome tech-hubby, stepson, and RubyCat. Visit amymarieayres.com where you can find out more about her private writer’s group Fill the Blank Page. You can sign up for her Newsletter where she sends out motivational tips for new writers and her special brand of humor. You can also find her on Twitter and Instagram.

The post Against All Odds: Writing Despite Setbacks appeared first on DIY MFA.

• J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was rejected 14 times
• Margaret Mitchell’s Gone With The Wind was rejected 38 times
• George Orwell’s Animal Farm was rejected because “It is impossible to sell animal stories in the USA”

Considering the quality of these works and the millions of readers around the world who love them, their rejection was ridiculous. At the time though, each author had to survive rejection in order to present his or her work to the world—you must too. 

My debut novel was rejected thirty three times by a combination of agents and editors before a publisher offered a contract—I know something about surviving rejection. Here are my five top tips for survival:

1) Stick with it 

Sticking with trying to publish long enough to figure out how to succeed, while writing —these were both my top challenges and keys to my success. Here’s how: take a 100th hard look at what you’ve written and revise—you’ll find something to improve, always; write something new; build your author’s platform—you’re here in the DIYMFA website, author platform-building is central!

Network: attend writer’s conferences and talk to the conference speakers, pitch to agents—ask for their advice about submitting your work successfully—you’ll never have a better opportunity to ask the experts. If they like your pitch, move fast with your submission and send exactly what’s asked for—no more, no less.

Rejection stings—there’s no question. The silence that often follows submissions is worse. Open up your laptop and keep working. Right this minute you’re engaged in a website that offers a treasure trove of help, understanding, instruction, and support—explore all that DIYMFA has to offer—it will help your work in myriad ways.

2) And Still She Persisted!

Yes, you must persist, but with your eyes wide open. Research the publishing houses and agencies that best suit your work (and do create a mix of agents and editors for your submissions). Your style and genre vs. their list, the match between what they are looking for and your work—all must align. The information is available on the house or agency website. Consult websites such as Writer’s Digest, Poets & Writers, and your home away from home, DIYMFA. Some agencies reject at a higher rate than others—their rejection rates impact your chances— check out Query Tracker for all things submission related. 

When you find “it does not suit my list” in rejection emails, it really might mean you chose the wrong agent or publisher for your work. Keep going, but keep your mind open: if the rejections pile up, ask yourself what’s wrong—stop burning your submission bridges until you do.

3) Don’t Put Your Head in the Sand

Find out what’s wrong. Who has read your work? If you’re sticking with family and friends, book clubs of neighbors and friends, or even writer’s groups, you may not learn what to do to avoid more rejection—your beta readers may not know how to help. Reach out to communities of writers and professionals. DIYMFA and all the team’s resources are right here. Take advantage of their offers of critique. Go to the website of a writer you like—one who writes in your genre—and see if she works as a freelance editor (many do). Trust her to review your manuscript, synopsis, query, and pitch—get her opinion on what’s holding you back. Criticism in a rejection from an agent or editor is rare but it’s like gold—mine it. Revise and rewrite, and ask a pro to review it again. Repeat.

4) It’s okay to sit in your car and cry

Irish golfer Shane Lowry won the 2019 British Open this summer. He not only won it, he blew the doors off of it. In previous years, he failed to even make the cut—essentially, he was rejected by the British Open after the first of three rounds—not once, but four times. After one of those dismissals, he sat in his car and cried. Shane’s a big bloke with a big red beard. After a good cry, he got back on the golf course and worked to perfect his game, and he hired a new caddie, an expert golfer, someone he trusted to help.

You’re only human, there will be bad days. It’s okay to release the stress with a good cry, or any healthy way you like. Take a walk to clear your mind, fill your lungs. Do a little yoga, stretch your neck and back—they take a beating while you sit and write.

5) Take A Deep Breath—Exhale

Walk the dog. Invite your spouse out to dinner. Take the kids to an ice cream parlor. Spring a surprise lunch on your mother. Day after day, you may appear to all of them as a black cloud behind a computer, and while you owe them a nice change—especially if you can only write in the evenings or on the weekends—you owe yourself one too. You’re trying to do one of the hardest things on earth—breaking through the wall from unpublished to published—give yourself and those around you some R&R, give yourself a break, and like Shane Lowry, go back to perfecting your game refreshed. Repeat.

Rejection number 28 was the nicest one I received: the editor loved my prose, but my novel did not fit her list, and it was the list of my dream publisher. Double heartbreak. Full disclosure though, around rejection number 31 I started to feel like I should give up. I felt silly continuing. I’d followed all of the tips above—several very late in the process, but I’d done all of them, and more than once—and I felt like giving up. It was a dangerous point in the process. I did not, I persisted, and as with all things worth doing, that’s key.

You likely have tips in addition to the five above, ones that got you through rejection—or are getting you through now—please share them, and best of luck!

Constance Emmett’s debut historical/LGBT+novel, Heroine Of Her Own Life, published by Next Chapter, begins shipping at the end of August. She writes in an aerie-like office in the beautiful foothills of the Massachusetts Berkshires. Her non-fiction is posted on her blog, or connect with her on Twitter @ConstanceEmmett, Facebook, or Instagram.

The post #5onFri: Five Tips for Surviving Rejection appeared first on DIY MFA.

1) Lack of Authority

A lack of authority in the manuscript is far and away the biggest turnoff for me, when considered submissions. I’ve recently heard authority described, helpfully, as “that ineffable quality—you’re not sure quite what it is, but you know it when you see it.” I guess I would consider authority in a novel to be absolute control over the language: every word is exactly right, placed just where it belongs, creating a narrative voice that says, “You can trust me. I know what I’m talking about.” If I find myself nitpicking grammar or wondering if the YA author has ever spoken to a teenager, that authority and trust is already lost. In a way, lack of authority immediately makes it impossible for me to suspend my disbelief and enter into that contract between writer and reader; it ruins the immersion.

2) Great Concept, Poor Execution

This is also one I see a lot. I’ve read the fantastic query letter, the synopsis has me captivated, I’m on the edge of my seat, and then . . . the actual story is poorly written—terrible grammar, head hopping, lack of authority, typos galore, etc. Or it’s boring—told from the wrong character’s perspective, or telling me backstory before getting me interested in the main story, or spending too much time on world-building. Or in some other way it fails to live up to its promise. This is always disappointing, as a reader. If you’ve received a number or rejections, you might consider sharing your book and your synopsis with some beta readers to see if they match up. Perhaps you simply need to rewrite your synopsis to better reflect what the book actually is (and so as not to set up the wrong expectations), or perhaps you can identify how the book is not living up to the synopsis and revise accordingly.

3) Too Much Editing Required/Isn’t Ready Yet

I find this reason disappointing, but in today’s industry, most companies can’t take the time to substantively develop a book. Even if the editor—or even the company—absolutely loves the story’s concept and it’s told in beautiful, authoritative language, the manuscript may still require too much time and work to reach its full potential and the press can’t realistically risk taking it on. Sometimes the editor will provide detailed feedback, inviting you to revise and resubmit, or else they might ask you to keep them in mind for your next book. But this isn’t a guarantee, so be sure to hone your manuscript and story to best of your abilities before submitting.

4) Mis-representative Samples

Specifically my beef is with prologues—though there are plenty of other examples of samples that misrepresent the work. Even though my company asks for the first three chapters of the book, we’ll often get queries that contain only the prologue. Personally, I would suggest skipping the prologue entirely in a submission, unless you’re sending the complete MS, as they’re rarely indicative of the quality and style of the book as the whole. Prologues sometimes introduce a framing device or focus on something that happened twenty years before the present day of the novel; sometimes the writing style is vastly different from the rest of the book. There are plenty of reasons to write a prologue, but they usually don’t give editors a good sense of what the rest of the book is going to be like. And this means that if the prologue or other writing sample isn’t as strong as the rest of the book, and you don’t give them anything more to consider, they might not be interested in seeing the completed manuscript.

5) Potentially Offensive Material

I’ve spoken a little about editing out the occasional instance of (hopefully unintentionally) problematic material, but if it occurs early on, in a way that is not obviously purposeful within the text, it will likely throw up red flags. If a line or description or scene makes the editor uncomfortable—in a way that is not intended or addressed—they might reject it right away. This is why authorial authority is so important: it establishes the author’s intentions and sets up a barrier between, for instance, the sexist character and the author who is writing him.

6) Rude Query Letters

Rude query letters will usually be rejected as matter of course—they might even go directly in the trash—so be sure to be kind and considerate. Don’t insult the press’s list or the editor or even any of the books or authors on your comp. title list. If you’re worried your query letter could be misconstrued as hostile or offensive, get a second opinion, or even just rewrite it. Never give the press a reason to dismiss you out of hand!

7) Not a Good Fit for Our Company . . .

It’s a staple line of the form rejection, but it’s absolutely true. Sometimes editors do get submissions they genuinely adore that are just not the right fit for the company. Commercial thrillers, no matter how fraught or exciting, likely won’t be a great fit for an indie literary press, and highly experimental novellas might not work for a company that specializes in romance novels. I’ve had to turn away many books I loved that we just didn’t have the market for, or else they were not what the publisher was interested in. Be sure to research the company before submitting!

8) . . . At This Time

Most small presses can only publish a handful of books a year, so it’s often a tightly curated list, not unlike a lit mag. So they might like to put out books that complement each other, thematically. Or perhaps they just published a book similar to your submission and are waiting to see how the sales turn out—particularly if it’s a new genre they’re trying out. Sometimes a publisher might decide to take a break from a specific type of book based on the current market, or they’re looking for something to play to the strengths of the team they have that year. It is a staple of the rejection letter, but a rejection might honestly be a simple matter of bad timing.

So don’t beat yourself up over every manuscript rejection! Keep revising as you see fit, and keep submitting—you’ll find the best home for your work!

Constance Renfrow is a New York-based writer and lead editor for Three Rooms Press. Her fiction and poetry have appeared in such places as Cabildo Quarterly, Denim Skin, and Petrichor Machine, and she hosts a monthly open mic series at New York’s Merchant’s House Museum. Recently, she compiled the anthology of millennial fiction, Songs of My Selfie, available from Three Rooms Press, and writes about the book publishing industry for DIY MFA. She is pursuing her MFA in fiction from Pacific University. Visit her at constancerenfrow.com or follow her on Twitter @MissConstance21.

The post The Eight Most Common Reasons I Send a Rejection appeared first on DIY MFA.

Got a question? Tweet @beccaquibbles with the hashtag #askbecca. Or just leave a comment below!

You might see it answered right here on DIYMFA!

#askbecca:

A lot of rejection letters have been coming in lately. I’ve started to question my abilities as a writer, but I don’t want to stop writing. What should I do?

You suck at writing. If we have to read one more paragraph of the world’s most poorly-strung set of words, courtesy of you, we might decide never to read another book again. Just in case your words are in them. For the love of all that is holy, spare us the misery and stick to your day job.

How did that make you feel? If you’re anything like me, it probably made you feel like a nerd huddled in the corner of the locker room with a petite cheerleader (who happened to have been kissing the male lead of the school play not an hour earlier) giving you the dreaded Z-formation.

So you mope around for a while, but then that rejection starts to make you angry. Really, really angry. So angry that you wake up the next day and pump out 5,000 words out of spite.

Congratulations! You have joined the ranks of hundreds of thousands of other writers who have received rejections and kept on truckin’. And do you know what that means? You are a writer. So pick yourself up by your bootstraps and quit your bellyachin’.

For reals, though: Rejection is tough. I’ve published a half-hand-full of poems (three exactly), and do you even want to know how many form rejections I have? Do you really? More than fifty, and I get a new one every day. And I’ve got news: They don’t get any easier to swallow.

But let’s play a hypothetical game. Say you’ve gotten, I don’t know, like, 200 rejections. So many rejections you’ve started shoving them onto a railroad spike hammered into your wall, and the spike is almost full. And say a recent rejection looks something like this:

“We are not interested in science fiction which deals with negative utopias. They do not sell.”

That really gets to you, because after all, most of your work is about science fiction that deals with “negative utopias.” Maybe your significant other likes it, but you’re starting to think it’s a load of garbage.

So maybe you stop writing, because after all, what you love to write “does not sell,” and nobody has given you any reason to believe, in the five years you’ve been writing, that you’re any good at it.

And let’s pretend the book you’re trying to get published is called Carrie, and your name is Stephen King.

HELLO! Did Stephen King just give up on his writing career?

In reality, we all know he didn’t. He pushed through that rejections and went on to sell Carrie, make the New York Times Bestsellers 34 times, and become a household name.

I’m not saying that you’re going to be the next Stephen King, but I’m not saying you’re not, either. Here are some facts:

• Rejections don’t define you.

  You’re going to wake up tomorrow, go to work, laugh with your family, and be the same person you were before someone had an opinion about your work (unless you’re the Hulk, in which case, you’ve probably got bigger things to worry about than writing anyway).

• Rejections don’t define your writing.

  Unless everything you write forever afterward is unadulterated $h!te. And even if you do write $h!te, guess what? You can learn and write more and better next time.

• Rejections are all based on opinion.

  Not everyone is going to dig your eHarmony profile, and that’s a good thing. Don’t settle and don’t try to please every high-maintenance man (I mean, uhm, reader) out there. You want to wait for the One. Not everyone is going to love your book, but your ideal readers? They’re the Ones worth waiting for.
  

• Rejections happen to everyone.

  Comedians, presidents, inventors, TV hosts, Greek philosophers, and even people named Walt Disney. It’s part of life.

• Rejections give you tough skin.

  Like a lizard. They may take your tail off, but gosh darn it, you’ll grow another one.

• Rejections allow you to separate yourself from your work. 

• And yes, it does feel like pulling out your own heart from your chest and putting it under a microscope. But it also lets you look more objectively on your work to see what can be fixed (careful, it’s still illegal to do surgery on your own heart).

I’ve gotten about ten rejections on a story I love, all because of the ending. And just a few days ago, as I was writing this post, one magazine took a chance and gave me the opportunity to revise. It’s not exactly an invitation to the NYT bestseller list, but it’s something. It’s an opportunity to see that I don’t have to be married to my work. I might even test out some other opinions and see how I like my new ending (and if not, I’ll just chop it off and grow a new one!).

I leave you with this pithy note to Sylvia Plath, who is part of the canon of American poets.

“…There certainly isn’t enough genuine talent for us to take notice.”

I hope you have the courage to receive a rejection like that. I hope that it will make you angry – angry enough to sit down and pound out another poem, another story, another chapter. I hope you believe in yourself enough to keep getting rejected long after you’re famous, as Plath was when she got this one.

With a B.A. in B.S. (translation: English Major), Rebecca Ann Jordan is a poet and speculative fiction author in San Diego. She has published poetry and flash pieces in Yemassee Magazine, Bravura Literary Journal, and Images Magazine, and currently acts as Junior Assistant Editor at Bartleby Snopes. Her fetishes include controversial grammar, mythological happenings and yarn-swapping. Or maybe she made all of that up. Quibble with her @beccaquibbles.

The post Ask Becca: Six Facts about Rejection appeared first on DIY MFA.

Now, here’s something to take on: Look beyond the anger, the embarrassment or the frustration. What is there for you? Consider that a rejection or a lack of response is a gift. It gets you in touch with what you fear, which helps you build the muscle of courage.

Facts and Interpretations

Let’s look at what rejection actually is.

One way to look at rejection is that your work wasn’t accepted. That’s a fact. The second is rejection meaning something about you. The monologue in your head may sound like, “I’m not good enough.” How likely are you to keep writing and querying if you come from a dis-empowering context? Here’s what to do when you start beating up on yourself:

1. Declare a breakdown. Write down the issue that’s bothering you.

2. Write down all the things that are upsetting you besides being rejected that day. Your dog pooped on the carpet, the mail arrived late and your shoe needs cobbling. Clear all that junk out of your head. Distinguish the judgments you have about yourself or others based on each of the things you list. Are those judgments facts or interpretations? If they’re interpretations (most things that upset us usually are our own judgments, not the actual events), cross them out and move on to the next step.

3. Now write down the facts of what you’re upset about. This step will clarify what happened versus how you feel.

4. Now, ask yourself what you’re committed to. Do you want to be the first-ever writer of dog-themed mysteries for tweens? Declare it! Your feelings change from second to second and really can’t be trusted. Your commitment, however, is something you’ll work toward no matter how you feel. You will write when you’re too tired or feeling lazy. Consider that your commitment has to be a large enough vision that it overcomes your feelings, which are temporary sensations.

5. What action steps will you take to make your declaration happen? Write down your goal. What do you want to create by when? Then work backwards, creating milestones and rewards for yourself, each step of the way. Your plan may change over time. No need to beat up on yourself over that. Just re-tool and keep it moving.

6. What are you responsible for in this experience? Write that down. Certainly, there are things out of your control. And then there are things you could control, like the quality of a draft, the amount of hours you put into it, and the way you took care of yourself in order to produce good work. This part of the exercise is hard because humans love to blame others. Once you take credit for how things went, you’ll gain elevation on the experience AND you’ll be able to see more (perhaps, better) options. Remember: When you blame someone else, you give up power.

7. What gold did this experience provide you? It may very well be that your draft wasn’t ready for the world. Or the rejection may be a lesson in resilience. Declare what the experience gave you. This is like an exercise in gratitude. When you see the gold in a situation, you may actually be thankful that you were rejected.

Facing Fear to Build Resilience

Now back to getting in touch with what you fear. A lot of what many of us do is act in ways that protect ourselves from experiencing our fears. Sometimes, what we’re avoiding is so scary, we bury it deep down. Would you consider that in doing so, we’re really avoiding ourselves? Yet, in not facing fear, we create a far more volatile relationship with it.

That’s why rejection usually hurts so much and why many people avoid taking risks.

So instead of avoiding the ickiness, practice being with fear in small, safer ways. When you begin flexing and building that muscle of courage, that next rejection letter won’t stick to you.

This is the second article in a series about dealing with rejection as a writer. Read the first article here .

Julie Varughese is a life coach and former journalist. She is at work on her first fictional series and on a documentary film on her grandmother. She takes it as a practice. Check out her website: www.julievarughese.com

The post How to Stay in Action When You Get Rejected appeared first on DIY MFA.